


you smiled and then the spell was cast

by kkslover9



Series: NYC AU [2]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Crushes, Ex-Boyfriends, Fanmix, Frottage, Getting Back Together, Kissing, M/M, Use of the word soccer instead of football, rich kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 23:02:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkslover9/pseuds/kkslover9
Summary: Cristiano was Leo's first kiss and first boyfriend but then he moved away. Now nine years later, he's back and Leo finds himself drawn to his childhood friend once more.





	you smiled and then the spell was cast

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Day 4 of Football RPF Week 2018. Obviously, I didn't exactly make it on the day but an effort was made and I did eventually finish.
> 
> So many thanks to prompt_fills for cheering me on through this because it wouldn't be finished otherwise. 
> 
> HERE'S THE FANMIX! I couldn't resist.
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> [FANMIX DOWNLOAD](http://www.mediafire.com/file/8b61rtrzvad55p5/you_smiled_and_then_the_spell_was_cast.zip/file)

Leo has never liked bespoke suits. As he stands in the second floor room of his father’s usual bespoke tailor getting measured, he can only think about when it’s going to end. He’s just spent an hour going over the details of the event and its unfortunate white tie dress code. Now all he wants to do is go to lunch because he’s hungry. It doesn’t actually take that long, maybe fifteen minutes, but it feels like an hour, especially knowing that he’ll have more fittings to look forward to in the future. But it could be worse, he thinks. He’s not sure how but it could be so he puts up with it and tries to avoid fidgeting.

When he’s finally finished, he discovers what worse means. He steps out of the room where the measuring took place and goes back down to the first floor. Someone enters the shop as he’s coming down the stairs. Leo frowns deeply. He has no right to recognise him so quickly when he takes off his sunglasses, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s staring at Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos. Cristiano grins as a sales assistant comes up to him. Leo wonders why he’s in New York and not in Madrid where he’s spent the last nine years. The sales assistant leads Cristiano up the stairs and he doesn’t even notice Leo. Leo is both relieved and offended.

Cristiano: Leo’s first crush, first kiss, first heartbreak. Leo really should be over it by now. He had only been fourteen. There was no way it would have lasted up to this point even if Cristiano had not moved to Madrid. Leo sighs and exits the shop. He has lunch soon with Geri and he’s suddenly feeling like he needs a drink.

They go for Italian food at a place Geri likes in Chelsea. Leo gets the cacciucco and Geri gets the steak of all things. Leo rolls his eyes. They could have just gone to a steakhouse if that’s what he wanted.

“Guess who I saw at Oakes & Hallewell today,” Leo says while they wait for dessert.

Geri and Cesc are the only ones who know that Leo and Cristiano dated for all of two months before Cristiano up and moved away. Geri thinks Cristiano is an asshole for dating Leo when he knew there was a chance he would go to Spain.

“Who?”

“Cristiano.”

Geri frowns. “I was wondering when he would show his face in public.”

“What? Did you already know he was in the city?” 

“Well, yeah. Sergio’s friend saw him at the airport like a week ago when she was picking up her brother.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

A server comes and brings their dessert. 

“Because I knew you’d see him sooner or later. They say he’s come back to help with the creative direction of the fashion house.”

Leo frowns. Cristiano moving back would mean seeing him possibly on a regular basis. Sure the city was big and full of stuff but any events would mean that they would run into each other. 

Geri eats a bit of his dessert and then speaks. “According to Cesc, his mother wants him back in the country because she’s decided he’ll be the one to take over after her. He’s not going to take over fully yet but he’s definitely going to get some responsibility to ease him into it.”

Leo doesn’t even care which eternal gossip Cesc got this information out of to verify its trustworthiness. He’s stopped eating completely and just stares at his panna cotta. He was such an idiot being hung up over a boy, now man, who had broken his heart as though it hadn’t been broken since. Was this how he would react when he inevitably saw David again as well? Somehow he imagines that will be even worse.

“Leo?”

It takes a moment but Leo’s mind finally registers Geri saying his name and he looks up.

Geri is watching him, brows slightly furrowed in something like sympathy. “I heard he’s turned into even more of an asshole. You shouldn’t worry about him.”

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” Leo sighs and pushes away his dish so that he can lay his head down on the table. 

“Not really. You haven’t seen him in what? Like eight years after he literally up and left you without a word?”

“He told me before he left, Geri,” Leo says picking himself up off the table.

Geri snorts, clearly disgusted by Leo picking up even slightly for Cristiano. “Yeah. The day before he got on the plane. Though I guess he had some decency to tell you to your face instead of over the phone.”

Leo hums in agreement to both sentiments and follows it up with a huge sigh.

“Come on. Cheer up already. Don’t forget we have the Halloween party next weekend,” Geri says encouragingly. He pokes Leo with the back of his spoon.

“I guess so.” Leo doesn’t really like the annual Halloween party but he always goes because Geri likes it. Sergio is going this year as well. Leo tried to suggest that he shouldn’t interrupt but Geri still insisted. Maybe it would be a good change of pace to wear a costume and go out.

 

The party is on Friday night. Halloween has already past but the organisers had decided that it would be better to hold the party on Friday, probably so that people can get wasted if they so choose. The party is in a huge fourteenth floor studio in Midtown Manhattan. There are several spaces available with music and food and various lightings. There’s a costume competition in the beginning of the night to reward the ostentatiousness of the guests. 

Leo has managed to be roped into a group costume with Geri and Sergio who have decided to be Frankenstein’s Monster and the Monster’s Bride respectively leaving Leo with the role of the good doctor himself. Leo had tried to explain that the second monster never actually gets made in the novel but Geri had just called him an English Major asshole and dismissed the information. That had irked Leo a bit more than it should have since they had both read it in high school. Geri and Sergio’s costumes are good though. Leo hadn’t even recognised them when he went to Geri’s apartment to meet them. It was some good professional stuff. Leo on the other hand being the doctor didn’t exactly have the opportunity to turn himself into a monster out of someone’s nightmare. 

“I heard Cristiano is here,” Geri says after they finish talking to some friends from high school. 

Leo frowns. It’s not unexpected that Cristiano would attend but he’s sorry that he hasn’t thought to anticipate it. Now he’ll have to worry about avoiding Cristiano as he waits for Geri and Sergio to decide it’s time to go home. They have already decided to share an Uber back to Geri’s and Leo hopes they won’t get too drunk and into each other to forget about him. Geri isn’t really the type and he doesn’t think Sergio was either but stranger things have happened in the world. 

Geri and Sergio invite him dancing after the winner of the costume contest is announced. The music is loud and the room dark except for a single disco ball attached to the ceiling. Leo imagines it will be hot and packed and Geri and Sergio will definitely be too caught up in each other to pay him any attention so he opts out and escapes to the terrace. It’s cold out but there are heaters set up at various points along the terrace for anyone who decides to venture out. Leo situates himself in a corner and leans on the balustrade looking out on the bright lights of the city. 

He isn’t exactly having a bad time. They had run into the friends from high school and it had been nice to catch up. He’s not doing too badly in his life so he’s not embarrassed about anything except maybe his single status and that was only because he felt like he should be attached if he wanted to face Cristiano. He knew it was unlikely to happen by the time they came face to face and that Cristiano would most likely hear all the gossip about him dating a graduate student as a freshman and subsequently getting his heartbroken but, hey, a guy could dream. 

It is calming to stand out there in the fresh air. There are a few others outside, mostly couples, but it’s pretty quiet with the noise from inside dulled down. There’s probably less chance of running into Cristiano out here and the view is fantastic of course. Leo thinks about all the different people that are down there going about their lives, good and bad.

“Enjoying the view?”

Leo turns around and comes face to face with a guy. It’s kind of dark but Leo can tell he’s wearing a Frankenstein’s Monster costume. He’s tall but not quite as tall as Geri. Geri is going to be upset when Leo tells him there was another good Monster at the party. 

“Sorry am I bothering you?” the guy says. 

Leo shakes his head. “I was just looking at the city. There’s nothing to bother.”

The guy moves into the space next to Leo and looks out for himself. Leo watches him closely. He doesn’t recognise him which isn’t terribly strange because it’s dark. Besides Sergio and Cesc were more the types to know everyone. Leo was comfortable with knowing just the few people he was already acquainted with. 

“It’s a little cold to be outside, isn’t it?” The guy doesn’t even turn to look at Leo while he speaks.

Leo shrugs though he’s not sure it’s noticed. “You’re outside too, you know.”

The guy chuckles and turns toward Leo. “That is quite the observation.”

Leo turns away slightly embarrassed to be made fun of. “It’s better for avoiding people. As you said, it’s a little cold to be outside, even with the heaters.”

There’s a moment of silence while the guy looks back out of the city and Leo does the same. It’s not as calming anymore. It feels noisier even though they’re not speaking.

“Avoiding anyone in particular?”

Leo looks at the guy to find his attention already on him. He returns his gaze quickly to the view. “I mean, not really. Though maybe I’m avoiding my ex just a little.” Leo finds himself being honest. Perhaps because the guy is wearing a costume and they don’t know each other, he feels like he doesn’t need to lie.

“Was the break up that bad that you need to avoid them?” The guy sounds amused for some reason.

“Not really,” Leo says.

“Then you’re not over them yet?” 

Leo sighs and closes his eyes for a moment then reopens them and turns his back to the city, leaning back against the balustrade. “I dunno. I saw him last week for the first time since we broke up and I kind of freaked out. Geri, my friend says it’s normal but I’m not sure what it means.”

“Hm.” The guy faces Leo and brings his hand up to his face thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll find out the next time you see him, won’t you? If you still freak out or if it was just the surprise of seeing him again for the first time.”

Leo smiles slightly. It would be a stranger that would make sense and actually makes him feel a bit calmer about the idea of seeing Cristiano again. There is a chance that he would feel fine next time and that would honestly be fantastic. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Anytime.” The guy smiles and Leo can’t help but smile back.

“Leo! There you are!” Geri’s voice calls from the door to the inside. 

Leo and the guy both look over to where Geri is holding the door to the terrace open. He starts toward Leo, letting the door close behind him.

“Anyway, it was good talking to you. I should go,” the guy says and before Leo can answer or ask his name, he leaves.

Geri’s head turns to watch him as they pass each other and his head is still turned when he reaches Leo. “Who was that?”

Leo shrugs. “No idea.”

“His costume was good though. Not as good as mine but it was well done.”

Leo shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“Listen, do you mind leaving now? Sergio’s not feeling well. He’s got a migraine so we were thinking of heading out.”

“Yeah. That’s fine.” Leo pushes off from the railing.

Geri smiles at him. There’s no way he would expect Leo to want to stay here by himself but he seems grateful anyway that Leo’s agreed to leave. Leo follows him back inside but his mind can’t help but go back to the short conversation he had on the terrace. He was in a costume but Leo felt that he was probably his type, nice smile and ready to tease a bit but with a good head on his shoulders. It’s probably strange to think up that entire profile based on a basically anonymous meeting but that was the feeling in Leo’s gut. He looks out for Geri’s double as they exit but they leave without him getting even a glance.

 

Christmas comes and goes. The new term starts. But Leo still hasn’t seen Cristiano since the glimpse he had before Halloween. 

“He’s in Spain again,” Geri says casually when Leo mentions that he’s been ancious to see Cristiano again so that he can see if he’ll react calmer. He’s at Leo’s house doing the homework for his finance class on the floor in front of the TV while Leo reads a textbook on the sofa.

Leo looks up from his reading. “I thought he was back for good?”

Geri doesn’t even glance away from the papers in front of him. “Yeah. I heard he had some business to sort out. I tried to get better out of Cesc but he didn’t know anything else either.”

“How is it that Cesc always has this kind of info when he’s not even in the city?”

Geri laughs. “That’s just the way he is.”

At the middle of the semester, they’re encouraged the think about summer internships. Geri is already working out the details of his application for the summer start-up program. Leo isn’t quite as entrepreneurial in his thinking. He wonders if he should just ask his dad about it but he’s sure he’ll want him to intern at the asset management firm. Instead he asks Pep who advised him about the social enterprise track. Leo really likes Pep. Pep never asks whether he had any resistance from his father when he set his MBA focus on non-profit and public management instead of more lucrative fields. (Yes, there had been push back. And the MBA was the middle ground that kept his father from losing his mind.) Pep is also really nice to Leo even though he’s got other students to keep track of; he always seems genuinely interested in what Leo’s up to. 

Pep is in his office on Friday so Leo goes in even though he doesn’t have class. Pep looks thoughtful when Leo brings up his internship concerns. Leo shifts nervously on the armchair he’s sitting in. He’s sure Pep will have something worthwhile to contribute but he still worries that maybe he’s hoping for too much. He watches Pep rub his greying beard as he thinks.

“You like soccer, don’t you, Leo?”

Leo nods. He might have grown up in New York City but his Argentine mother has instilled a proper love for the world’s game into him.

“Then I might have something for you,” Pep says with a smile. He goes into a drawer and pulls out a stack of business cards kept together with a rubber band. He shuffles through them and pulls one out and hands it to Leo.

GSINYC  
Grassroots Soccer Initiative New York City

“A friend of mine is involved with this new up-and-coming non-profit. They promote soccer in urban low-income communities as a vehicle for youth development. They also offer mentorship programs for different ages and work with schools and afterschool programs.”

The name sounds familiar to Leo but he can’t remember where he’s heard it.

“There was a bit about them in an article about grassroots non-profits in the NPQ earlier this year. I don’t know if you remember.”

That explained it. “Yeah. I do actually.”

Pep grins at him proudly. “Good to hear that you’ve been keeping up with the industry news.”

Leo smiles back albeit a bit shyly because Pep’s praise makes him bashful. “So are they looking for an MBA intern then?”

“They were interested in the idea the last time I heard. They’re small and doing good work well. I think you could learn a lot and maybe be able to help them as well.”

“I don’t know how much help I would be but I’m more than willing to learn,” Leo says. It sounds interesting and Pep is suggesting it and knows one of the organisers so he trusts that it wouldn’t be a waste of time.

“Good. I’ll contact my friend and see if he minds a summer intern.”

Leo’s glad he came to Pep. This was a much better idea than working at his father’s company for the summer. He had been able to avoid it during his undergrad and he would be glad to continue that trend. 

Leo stands, ready to go because he doesn’t want to bother Pep any longer. “Thanks for all the help.”

“Of course,” Pep says, standing as well. He stops Leo from leaving with a hand on his shoulder. “And Leo, don’t underestimate your own abilities.”

Leo nods. He can tell that Pep is sincere and that makes him happy. Sometimes he wishes his father would be more like that. He always bragged about Leo’s ability and grades to his friends but it wasn’t the same somehow. Pep squeezes Leo’s shoulder briefly then lets go. Leo gives him one last smile and then leaves the office relieved and content with his situation.

 

Pep helps set everything up. Leo’s able to intern at GSINYC for ten weeks in the summer. Geri’s application to the start-up program is accepted so he’s busy even before Leo starts his internship. Leo is a bit upset at the idea of spending less time with Geri than usual but Geri seems so happy about his idea garnering support that Leo feels mostly happy at the same time.

Leo’s first day is the first Monday in June. It’s hot, around 88 but it feels like 98. Thankfully Leo’s been informed that the office is pretty casual so he doesn’t have to wear or carry around a suit jacket. Geri texts him good luck and that makes Leo smile. 

Everyone is nice. Everyone. It’s kind of disconcerting. Judith, the director’s secretary, introduces him to everyone and shows him around the small office. There are cubicles for the few staff and an office for the director and a conference room for meetings. It’s in NoMad which is a lot nicer than what Leo was expecting from a small non-profit but he’s not really complaining because it could be a lot further from home otherwise. 

Judith is the definition of a gossip and although there’s no real space to have a private conversation except maybe the small break room when it’s empty, Judith tells him about everyone. He decides he likes her overall. She’s really sweet and helpful and makes sure that Leo is settling in well but he’s got to be careful around her or his business will become the office’s business.

Everything is almost perfect. Almost.

After lunch, Leo comes back to the office with Judith and another girl, Gianna to find Cristiano there talking to the director just outside his office. This was not the way he expected the see Cristiano again but things never worked out the way he wanted them to when it came down to it.

Cristiano spots him and smiles. Leo’s not exactly freaking out but he is nervous. Cristiano is probably going to try and talk to him and he has no idea how that conversation will go. 

“Leo? Are you ok?” Judith touches his arm lightly.

Leo’s attention switches from Cristiano to her and he realises he’s still standing just in front of the door to the corridor and elevator. He must look like he’s crazy.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just—I thought I forgot my phone for some reason but it’s right here,” he says tapping his pocket where his phone is.

Judith doesn’t look convinced. Her eyes narrow and she looks suspicious but she lets him get away without a comment. They head back to their respective desks and Leo sits down and starts filling out the orientation application forms that were given to him. He’s filling in his emergency contact information into the online system when Cristiano finally comes over to him.

“Hi, Leo,” Cristiano says standing next to Leo’s desk.

Leo takes a deep breath and looks up. Cristiano is smiling softly. There’s a touch of uncertainty to it, like he’s not sure how this conversation is supposed to go either. 

“Cris. Hey.”

They’re both silent after that. Leo doesn’t know what to say. He’s sure someone like Geri would have some choice words for him but Leo doesn’t feel any animosity towards him. They were kids and Cristiano had made a bad decision that had happened to be Leo’s first heartbreak. Cristiano had always seemed similarly upset when they parted the last time and now Leo wanted to think that he had been a bit upset to leave as well. 

“I should go but it was good to see you. Really good. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Cristiano reaches out as if to touch Leo but pulls his hand back quickly before he nods and turns and leaves.

Leo breathes in and out. That hadn’t been painful at all. A bit awkward yes, but that was to be expected when they hadn’t spoken in nine years and had last met in pretty terrible circumstances. But Leo didn’t doubt that they would be able to be civil if they ever met again. 

Leo learns later that Cristiano does consulting for GSINYC. He’s surprised to hear that Cristiano has time since he’s supposed to be working for his mother’s fashion house. He also imagines it must be very different work or maybe that’s why Cristiano does it: a change of pace. Cristiano comes back the next week. He smiles at Leo and says hello before he heads into the director’s office for a meeting.

It’s around an hour before Cristiano emerges from the office. Leo is unsure whether Cristiano will speak to him properly or just tell him goodbye so he slows his typing when he sees him. Without fail, Cristiano comes over. His suit is impeccably tailored. Leo feels oddly scruffy in his shirt as he looks up at him, eyes passing over the fit of the suit buttoned at his waist. Leo hadn’t noticed last time but Cristiano looks good. Really good. Was this what they meant by flexing on your ex? Because Leo certainly feels like that is what is happening to him.

“Leo, how are you? Are you enjoying GSI?” Cristiano says.

His cologne wafts across to Leo. It’s a green, musky scent and Leo recognises it as a cologne he bought for Cristiano for his birthday before he left for Spain that summer. The realisation that Cristiano is still wearing the same fragrance is shocking. Leo’s doesn’t have the time to process the information before he realises he should answer Cristiano’s question.

“I—Yeah. It’s good. I’ve only been here a week but it’s been good. Everyone has been helping me a lot,” Leo says. 

He feels confused now. He’s not sure whether to interpret the fragrance as some sort of lingering sentimentality on Cristiano’s part. Perhaps he had just liked it enough to keep wearing it though Leo distinctly remembers them laughing about how it seemed a bit like someone’s grandfather. But that was when they were teenagers and now Leo can appreciate that it’s a mature, powerful scent. It does seem to clash with Cristiano’s aesthetic which is a lot sexier, more likely to suit a perfume named Eros or something with a similarly raunchy idea attached. 

“This is a good company. I’m sure you’ll love it.” 

Leo nods. “I can already see that. I know I only work on the business end but helping the kids is good motivation to work hard.”

Cristiano smiles gently with a hint of fondness in his expression. “I’m really glad you think so.”

The conversation finishes soon after and Cristiano leaves. Leo stares at the door for a moment after him until he remembers he should be doing work. Cristiano was really nice. He didn’t understand what Geri had meant about him being full of himself now. Maybe whoever had provided Cesc with that information had been mistaken.

 

Leo’s birthday comes around and Cesc comes down to the city from his Cornell fellowship for the weekend. Leo manages to talk them out of a big party and into a night playing Xbox and PS4. So it’s Geri, Cesc and Neymar in his apartment for a gaming and movie marathon. It’s absolutely amazing. They order pizza and drink Cesc’s special twist on a Long Island iced tea that’s dangerously strong. Geri complains about Neymar being there and breaking the law but Leo reminds him of that time he blacked out freshman year at a party and he shuts up. 

At some point, Leo wonders what it would be like to have Cristiano there. It’s a very weird thought and it fades quickly but then he thinks about it the next day when they’re all suffering from hangovers as well. It would probably have been a messed filled with glares from Geri and snide comments from Cesc but he still thinks about it and that surprises him.

Being able to hang out with his best friends for the weekend helps him realise that he’s been feeling a bit lonely lately outside of work. It’s good that he has the internship and the people who work there to keep him busy. He’s even been out to lunch with them nearly every day and a few times after work as well but he still misses his friends. Geri is busy with his start up and trying to spend time with Sergio. Neymar is interning and taking summer classes as well so Leo doesn’t like to bother him. And Cesc isn’t even in the city most of the time. He needs a boyfriend, he thinks. It wasn’t that a boyfriend would be around all the time but Leo somehow feels that his loneliness extends from a lack of physical affection as well. Sex, kissing, cuddling, he had missed those things for the most part of the last two years.

He lies in bed and thinks about these things on Sunday night when everyone has managed to pull themselves together enough to go home. Leo always tries not to wallow in bad feelings. He’s a lucky person all things considered but sometimes he can’t avoid it.

Judith apparently finds out it’s his birthday over the weekend and Leo comes in to a decorated desk on Monday and gets taken out to lunch. It’s really sweet of them. Leo didn’t really need any kind of acknowledgement of his birthday so he hadn’t told them but the director had apparently noticed and told Judith who loves celebrations. 

Cristiano comes in after lunch. Leo smiles at him. If Cristiano had forgotten his birthday, he definitely knew it by the two huge balloons at his desk. He expects Cristiano to go into the director’s office but he comes over to Leo first. 

“Happy Birthday, Leo,” Cristiano says. He brings forth a small velour box from his briefcase and places it on Leo’s desk.

“What?” Leo stares at the box in shock.

“It’s a gift.”

Leo takes the box hesitantly. He wasn’t expecting to receive anything from Cristiano for his birthday. He opens the gift and comes face to face with two bird shaped cufflinks. He looks at them closely.

“Are those turkeys?” Leo says. More shock is stacked atop his previous shock.

“You always said they were your lucky bird at when we would see them at camp.”

“Because something good always happened after I saw a wild turkey,” Leo says in awe that Cristiano would remember something so odd about him after so long. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Cristiano laughs softly. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to give that to you. I have a meeting soon so I have to go but I hope you like them.”

Leo nods. He’s distracted by the gift and barely manages to glance at Cristiano as he goes out the door. It’s such a sweet and thoughtful and ridiculous gift. Exactly the type of thing that Leo loves to receive. He runs his thumb over the engraved birds, marvelling at them. Geri and Cesc had made fun of him the first time he ever mentioned turkeys. He knew it was weird but it had still been embarrassing when they laughed. But Cristiano had never laughed like that. When they were seven and Leo had seen his first wild turkey at camp and then made the lucky connection when they were given his favourite ice cream at dinner, he had nodded like it was totally understandable. Maybe nine-year-old Cristiano had been a strange kid as well but whatever the reason he had taken Leo seriously no matter what. It was that summer that Leo had first thought that he wanted to be with Cristiano forever. It had taken him a few years longer to realise what that really meant but the sentiment had been there even then.

 

Leo sits at his desk. He has to fill out his weekly internship hours for Judith to sign. He opens the document fully intending to do just that but his desk is facing the glass conference room. Cristiano is there, sitting at the large wooden table listening to the others speak and sometimes speaking himself. It's kind of distracting. Leo feels a bit strange for thinking it since Cristiano is his ex and everything but Cristiano looks the very definition of cool sitting there in his perfectly tailored suit with a serious expression on. There's a moment when Cristiano looks in his direction and Leo sucks in a breath fearing that he's been caught staring but Cristiano doesn't acknowledge him in the slightest. He breathes out in relief and forces his attention back to the computer. 

He always seems to have a bit of trouble focusing when Cristiano is in the office because he knows Cristiano is going to talk to him and he’s going to smell that familiar cologne and become nostalgic for their high school days. Cristiano has visited the office at least once a week since Leo started interning seven weeks ago and he usually engages Leo in a small conversation before he leaves about how Leo’s work is going and what Leo is working on. The exception was last week when Neymar had visited Thursday afternoon so that Leo could show him around. Cristiano had only said hello and goodbye that day. In hindsight though, bringing Neymar around had probably been a mistake. Judith had assumed that he was Leo’s boyfriend and it had taken an hour of convincing for her to believe that Neymar was just a friend.

There's a clip of heels on the floor and a body comes to stand by him, leaning slightly on the desk. Leo looks up to see Judith. She has her hair in braids now, black and tied back with a simple hair tie into a ponytail. 

“Leo, are you done with the form? I was going to take an early lunch so I thought I could sign it before I leave,” she says, rolling a pen between her fingers. 

“Um, not yet. I was—” He glances involuntarily at the conference room and Cristiano. It's only a second but Judith sees him and she looks over to take a look a well. 

Judith's mouth spreads into a sneaky smile, like she just found out some good gossip and Leo’s upset with himself that he gave it to her.

“You were distracted. I know I thought that boy last week was your boyfriend but this makes a lot a lot more sense. I totally get it. He's got all the girls and gays here and in his mom’s company going gaga because he's hot and rich and successful.” She's loud and staring very obviously in Cristiano's direction and Leo just wants a hole to open and swallow him up. 

From one assumption about his love life to the next. God. He hopes he doesn’t come to be known as the intern with a massive crush on the hot consultant, which wasn't even true. Leo just thought he looked cool. So much different from the lanky, kind of awkward sixteen year old that Leo had had a crush on and briefly dated when he was fourteen. 

“I would totally root for you, Leo. I think he likes you anyway. He’s always in here talking to you.” 

Judith likes to gossip and Leo is fine when it's not about him but today it's annoying how embarrassed it's making him. 

Judith fucking giggles. “He always used to conference call except when there was a big meeting but now he comes in person. Plus, he gave you a birthday gift, right?” She seems absolutely gleeful about it. 

Leo hopes he’s not blushing too much. “That's just because we knew each other as kids.”

“Oh my god. Was he your first love or something?” Judith says leaning in closer, whispering.

“My what?” Leo practically squeaks out the words in surprise. 

“Oh my god, he was,” Judith says before Leo can deny it. He tries to tell her no but she's not listening. “That's so cute. Childhood sweethearts.”

Leo sighs. He hopes so much that this didn't get back to Cristiano. “It wasn't really like that. Besides I don't like him. I was just thinking that he's changed a bit since we were younger, that's all.”

Judith goes serious. Leo is sure she's disregarded all he's said.

“If you say so. But I will say that you should be careful. There's a rumour going on that he has a boyfriend back in Spain. Maggie, my friend who works over at fashion house Dora, said that his secretary heard him saying he missed and loved someone on the phone in his office. Which was weird because he's always so proper in the office so she figured it must be someone important to him for him to proclaim something like that at work.”

Leo pushes away the strange feeling that he gets in his chest. It feels a bit like disappointment but there’s no reason to feel that way. Even if the rumour is true, that isn’t any of Leo’s business. He doesn’t like Cristiano and he is sure Cristiano is only friendly toward him because they knew each other as children. 

“Oh speak of the devil,” Judith says looking past Leo to the door of the conference room. 

Leo swivels in his chair to see Cristiano entering the main office. The meeting had apparently ended during his conversation with Judith. 

“Judith. Leo,” Cristiano says in greeting when he reaches them. 

“Mr. Dos Santos,” Judith says with a nod. “We were just talking about how cool you looked in your meeting just now.” She grins widely and Leo really thinks she's out to ruin his day. 

Cristiano laughs and grins himself. “I’m sure that was more likely you talking and Leo listening as he tried to do something important.”

Judith gasps in what is obviously mock offense. “I would never bother poor Leo while he works. I swear on my honour that Leo was a willing participant.”

“I dunno about all that,” Leo says. 

“Not you too, Leo,” Judith says, laughing. 

Leo can't help but admire that Cristiano is on sure good terms with everyone. He thinks Cristiano could joke like this with anyone at the company and no one would think it was strange because everyone likes and respects him. 

“Leo, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch,” Cristiano says.

“Lunch?” Leo is surprised. He didn't expect Cristiano to want to eat with him. But he hadn't expected Cristiano to talk to him on his first day either. 

“We haven't really had a proper chance to catch up since I came back so I figured this would be a good chance.”

Leo makes a certain effort not to look in Judith’s direction because he’s sure she’s probably wearing a ridiculous expression. Instead, he looks at Cristiano who has the most perfectly groomed eyebrows that it’s distracting. Why was so much of Cristiano distracting?

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Leo says. He’s gotten accustomed to talking to Cristiano by now so lunch shouldn’t be painful. Besides, he thinks Cristiano is tactful enough that he would cut lunch short if it was.

“You can finish that form after lunch,” Judith says. 

Leo makes the mistake of looking at her when she speaks and is forced to witness the delighted smile on her face. She definitely thinks there is more to lunch than a meeting between friends.

He and Cristiano go to a simple Italian place down the street. Leo gets the cheese ravioli in meat sauce and Cristiano gets the spaghetti in tomato sauce.

“You used to like that when we were kids too,” Leo says suddenly remembering the nine-year-old Cristiano asking Leo’s mother for spaghetti whenever he came over to the point that Leo had been sick of it.

Cristiano laughs and smiles. “And your mom would still make it for me a lot of the time even after we were teenagers and I wanted to eat anything else.”

“But that was your fault too. You could have just told her you were tired of it.”

“But she always looked excited when she got to take out the pasta machine. I didn’t want to take away her joy.”

Leo shakes his head in disbelief. “You could have just had her make another type of pasta.”

“Aw. But spaghetti in tomato sauce is the best.”

Leo laughs at that. That is so like the Cristiano he remembers. Cristiano laughs as well. It feels a bit surreal to be bantering and laughing so freely with him, like they were really friends still. Cristiano looks so happy. Leo hadn’t noticed before but there was something like sadness and caution in Cristiano for the past weeks but now, after this exchange, he looks younger and more comfortable. Leo feels it in himself too as well as a bud of nervousness. He wants to say there’s nothing to be nervous about but if he’s around Cristiano like this more often, he just knows there’s this chance that he’ll fall for him again. 

“How is your mom anyway?” Cristiano asks when he’s done laughing.

Leo pushes his awkward thoughts about Cristiano out of his head. This wasn’t the time to worry about what could or couldn’t happen. “Well, she’s got a motorised pasta machine now that she loves. I’ve had so much fettucine this year.”

Cristiano smiles in response and then his face turns serious. “I had heard about her and your dad splitting up.”

Leo shrugs. “I don’t know how fine she’s ever going to be after getting left for a younger woman but she’s trying her best, you know?” He feels a bit awkward after answering. He’s not sure what else to say as he watches Cristiano nod seriously. The depressing topic makes him think about the fact that Cristiano’s father had passed away a few years ago but he’s not sure whether he’s allowed to ask that.

“You’re thinking about my dad right?” Cristiano says.

Leo winces. He hates that he was so obvious in what he was thinking especially because it’s something a lot sadder than his parents getting divorced.

“It’s ok,” Cristiano continues, “I’ve had a while and some therapy to help me come to terms with it. It’s difficult to think about sometimes like when I visit my mother and I see the family pictures she has on the walls but I think the best way to respect his memory is to live my best life, you know?”

“Yeah.” Leo doesn’t have much to offer by way of words so he reaches out and touches Cristiano’s wrist with his hand. Cristiano looks startled and that makes Leo self-conscious so he removes his hand quickly.

Cristiano smiles at him gently. “Thanks.”

The server brings their food after. The air is a bit heavy with the chosen topics but they manage to work their way back to positive topics. Cristiano asks after Geri and Cesc and Leo updates him on how his friends are doing at the moment. In the end, it’s actually a really good lunch. 

Leo is surprised to think that he has missed Cristiano and not known it. They had been friends even before Geri and Cesc entered their school in the middle school. He wonders how things would have worked out if Cristiano had kept in touch when he moved. Would Leo have visited him in Madrid? Would they be together now by some design? The last question sticks in his mind the entire afternoon. At first the answer is no. There’s no way a long distance relationship would have worked. But then he thinks about elaborate situations where the long distance relationship doesn’t work initially but where there’s a rekindling of feelings after leaving them lingering over visits to see each other and keeping in touch. It sounds so romantic and a bit of him is upset that he can’t have such a sweet love story but real life isn’t this fantasy and he’s sure there’s never such a happily ever after at the end.

 

Leo goes to visit is mother on Saturday. It’s just him today. His siblings are all busy or on vacation somewhere. So he’s sits in the kitchen watching her make pasta dough while eating some cherries he found in the fridge. He scrolls through social media. Geri is promoting his start up on his personal accounts and Cesc was at a club in Ibiza posting photos of drinks and Daniella. He sees a photo of Judith in a bikini lounging next to a pool. Sometimes he wonders why he followed her. She is always doing something exciting. It makes Leo feel like he should be having more fun.

The intercom buzzes. Leo looks up but his mother is already moving out of the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. Maybe it’s a package she’s expecting. He looks back down at his phone and eats another cherry. It’s a while before he hears his mother speaking in the living room. He’s surprised when a voice answers and it sounds like it’s in the apartment. He puts down his phone and goes to see who it is. His mother doesn’t sound distressed but he’s still curious because he didn’t know they were expecting a guest. He definitely isn’t expecting to see Cristiano standing next to his mother when he rounds the corner. 

“What are you doing here?” Leo says thrown by the new arrival.

“Leo don’t be so rude. Cristiano called me yesterday to say hello and I invited him to join us for dinner.” His mother looks intensely pleased and she hugs Cristiano. “It’s so good to see you. I remember when you two were attached at the hip. You wouldn’t know that Leo had three siblings to play with. He only had eyes for Cristiano.” She giggles and then moves back into the kitchen, leaving a blushing Leo to deal with an amused Cristiano.

“We were inseparable for a while, weren’t we?” Cristiano says coming closer to Leo.

Leo tries to school his embarrassed face as best he can. “You should have told me you were coming. My numbers still the same, you know.”

“I thought it might be nice to surprise you. Do you like your surprise?”

There’s this strange tinge to Cristiano’s voice. Leo would almost believe he was flirting with him if he didn’t know better but he was just teasing. Leo’s heart doesn’t quite care about the distinction though. He feels it quicken excitedly. 

“I guess. It does explain why we’re having spaghetti and tomato sauce though.” Leo turns around because Cristiano is smiling at him and he’s actually feeling nervous. He goes over to the sofa and sit down. “You called my mom yesterday?”

Cristiano comes and sits next to him. Leo can smell him this close and as usual it’s that cologne that sends his mind whirling with thoughts. Cristiano’s watching Leo intently like he’s looking for something. Leo wonders what he sees.

“Yeah, since we talked about her the other day, I thought about her and figured I should give her a call. It’s a good thing her number is still the same as well.”

They talk for a bit before dinner. Leo feels like he fails at the conversation. He keeps thinking things like how Cristiano was there in his mother’s apartment going to have dinner with them just like old times. And what did it mean that he kept having intrusive thoughts about Cristiano’s lips and hands? He knows that intrusive thoughts don’t always mean anything deep but he also wonders why it’s so bad that those thoughts are intruding. He’s never been so happy to have his mother call him to set the table for dinner.

Cristiano helps him set the table and bring out the food then they sit and eat spaghetti and tomato sauce and garlic bread and drink red wine. His mother keeps reminiscing about their childhood and how adorable their friendship was. Leo is only embarrassed through the first glass of wine. 

After dinner, his mother brings out photos from Leo’s graduations. Leo’s not sure at first whether she’s bothering Cristiano but Cristiano looks at the pictures and smiles and laughs at her jokes and Leo doesn’t get the feeling that that’s the case.

It’s ten at night before Cristiano is given leave to go home because his mother begins yawning. Leo leaves at the same time. He lives close by so he usually walks but Cristiano calls an Uber from downstairs so Leo waits with him for it to arrive. The night is warm and Leo is glad he decided to wear shorts instead of jeans.

“I had a good time,” Cristiano says.

Leo glances over and sees that he’s smiling. “I think my mom did too.”

“Did you have a good time, Leo?”

“Yeah. It was a bit embarrassing to hear my mother talk about all those stories from when we were kids but it was nice to remember when we were friends, you know?”

There’s a moment of silence and then Cristiano says, “I hope we can be friends again if that’s all right.”

Leo looks at Cristiano, his eyes wide. Cristiano is staring at the street. “Yeah. That would be great,” Leo says softly. He hadn’t meant to imply that they weren’t currently friends. It had just slipped out but he’s glad to hear that Cristiano wants to be friends with him. Leo smiles to himself.

They stand in silence until the Uber arrives. 

“I’ll see you at the office probably,” Leo says.

Cristiano takes a step toward the Uber and then seems to change his mind and he turns toward Leo and pulls him into a hug. Leo freezes in his arms. It’s a short embrace. Just a friendly hug but Cristiano whispers “I missed you” as he lets Leo go and Leo has no idea how to respond.

Cristiano gets into the car and the driver pulls away. Leo is still standing there trying to get his heart under control and tell himself not to read anything into it, that the words should be taken at face value only. But maybe, just maybe he wishes they meant a little more?

 

Neymar wants to go to a new ice cream place. That’s the plan but they’re also hungry so they have dim sum for lunch first. Leo is pretty sure he only has space for a little ice cream but Neymar looks so excited that Leo’s sure he’s going to get a large ice cream and force it down even if he doesn’t have space.

“Leo?” A voice calls to them as they’re leaving the restaurant.

Neymar’s eyes go wide and Leo freezes because he knows that voice. He turns slowly to find David standing behind him. David is smiling and Leo tries his best to return it but he’s sure he looks as confused as he feels. He’s still upset that David would leave and break up with him in the bargain. He would have been willing to try long distance but David had said he wasn’t the type. Leo had even considered moving to the west coast once he graduated but apparently he hadn’t been worth the prospect of a year and a half apart.

They are still friends or as friends as two exes could be. David texted him sometimes but that was easy. Leo could reply without letting his emotions get the better of him. Seeing David in person for the first time in two years was a completely different story.

“Hey, Neymar,” David says.

Neymar shuffles awkwardly looking at Leo carefully before he responds with a hello of his own.

“How are you, Leo?” David’s attention returns to him.

Leo feels like he can’t breathe properly. He shouldn’t be like this. David hadn’t cared about him enough to try long distance with him. “I’m fine,” he says. 

“Leo, we should go or we’ll be late,” Neymar says.

They don’t actually have anywhere to go urgently. It’s just ice cream but Leo knows that Neymar is just trying to help him out and he appreciates it. He needs time to calm down and sort out what he’s felt.

David looks disappointed that they have to leave but he smiles kindly. “We should hang out while I’m here. Is that ok?”

Leo nods and he can feel Neymar’s eyes on him. Maybe he should say no but they had said they would stay friends and Leo doesn’t want to be the one that is too childish to manage that. 

“I’ll text you then,” David says. He clasps Leo’s shoulder firmly for a moment. 

Leo tries his best not to freeze under the touch. He’s not sure he succeeds but David doesn’t look troubled when he lets go. 

Neymar’s hand comes under Leo’s arm and he tugs lightly. “Right. We should go.” 

Leo’s not sure how to say goodbye. David gives him a little wave and Neymar thankfully drags him off.

Leo relaxes the further they get until he feels like he can breathe normally again. He takes a deep breath and exhales and feels somewhat better.

“I know we said we’d go get ice cream but do you just want to head back?” 

Neymar is always looking out for him. Leo really appreciates it. He nods and Neymar pulls out his phone to order an Uber. 

“You’re not actually going to meet up with him right?” Neymar says shortly after they get inside Leo’s apartment.

“We’re still friends, Ney. I know I got a little awkward there but that’s just because it was a surprise. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since—well since we broke up, I guess. I’ll be fine.” Leo wonders if he believes himself but he’s going to try his best to make it true. He will be fine. It’ll just be a meeting between friends. Nothing to freak out about.

Neymar drops down onto the couch looking at him, obviously disbelieving.

“I seriously will,” Leo says with a slight laugh. “Thanks for being concerned about me though.”

“Oh. I—We’re friends. Of course I’m gonna be concerned.”

Neymar looks embarrassed. Leo can’t help but laugh. He goes over and ruffles Neymar’s hair. “I already know you love me, Ney. You don’t have to be embarrassed. Though it’s kind of cute. Makes me wonder how that guy you like can ignore you like that. I’m sure you’ll find someone that notices how adorable you are.” Leo drops down next to Neymar and rests his head on Neymar’s shoulder. He feels tired for some reason. 

“Just promise you’ll be careful. I don’t trust that guy’s motives.”

Leo raises his head off of Neymar’s shoulder and stares at him for a moment before he bursts out laughing.

“I’m serious,” Neymar says.

Leo forces his laughter to turn to a giggle. “I know, I know. It’s just that’s just like something Geri would say.”

Neymar shakes his head. “Well he’d be right too.”

Leo calms down slowly and leans back into the couch, resting his head back. “I will. Don’t worry.” 

They’re silent for a while. Leo feels Neymar’s eyes on him. Leo’s sorry to worry him but he wants to prove to himself that he can do this, can meet with David and be all right like he’s promised Neymar he would be. He finally turns his face to look back at Neymar but Neymar turns his face as soon as he does and stands quickly.

“I should go. I have homework to do,” Neymar says. 

Neymar hadn’t mentioned anything about homework earlier but maybe he had forgotten, Leo thinks. “Sure. I should probably do some reading too.”

Neymar nods. He just kind of stands there for a minute looking like he wants to say something but nothing ever comes.

“Are you ok?” Leo says.

Neymar looks a bit troubled. “Just make sure you’re careful.” He heads toward the door. “I’ll see you next week some time.” He gives Leo a smile that looks a bit uncertain. 

Leo returns the smile as brightly as he can. He can tell that Neymar still doesn’t believe that he can handle meeting David and maybe he’s correct but Leo isn’t going to admit it. 

 

Leo is in the middle of reading for his Leadership class when his phone vibrates on the table where it’s charging. Leo gets off the couch and sees that it’s Geri so he answers, stretching a bit after being scrunched up on the couch for an hour.

“Geri. Hey.”

“Neymar told me you ran into David today,” Geri says. 

Leo sighs. “Of course he did.”

“And he said you were going to meet up with him.” Geri sounds scandalised, like he doesn’t believe that Leo made the decision to hang out with his ex.

“Yes, Geri. We’re still friends, you know.” Leo heads back to the couch and moves his book out of the way so he can sit in his previous spot.

Geri scoffs. “Leo, you can’t believe what you’re saying yourself. I still remember you crying for like a week straight junior year when he broke up with you even if you don’t have any recollection of that incident.”

Leo whines. Naturally, Geri would bring up something that disgraceful. Leo had been depressed for a while and Geri had been the one to help Leo pick up the pieces, needling him incessantly so that he wouldn’t fail any of his classes. It hadn’t been Leo’s best moment, perhaps it had been his worst, but that was then and this is now.

“It’s been two years. I’m fine now.”

“Ney made it sound like you were the opposite of fine.”

Goddamn it. Why did Neymar have to tell Geri his business like that? 

“That was just because I was surprised to see him. Remember when I first saw Cristiano? I was fine the next time. I’m really ok now, honest. It’s just going to be two friends catching up. There’s nothing for you and Ney to worry about.”

Geri is silent for a moment. Leo isn’t sure whether Geri’s going to give up or push the issue. He brings his legs up under him on the couch and waits.

“I don’t like it, Leo. I mean, you can do what you want and I’m not gonna turn you away later when you come crying to me about him being an asshole but I reserve the right to an ‘I told you so.’” Geri sounds resigned and Leo feels a bit bad about it but this is something he needs to do for himself.

“Aw. You’re such a good friend, Geri. But I’m sure there’s not going to be any crying.”

Geri laughs. He actually laughs. He could at least pretend to believe him but then it wouldn’t be very Geri to be insincere. 

“Tell me when you go and I’ll make sure I’m free after for moral support. Now I gotta go. Sergio made dinner and I’m hungry.”

“Talk to you later.” 

Leo sticks his tongue out at the phone after Geri hangs up. He is happy his friend has a loving boyfriend but it does make him a little jealous when Geri talks about doing normal and domestic things with him. Leo misses it, things like sitting on the couch and eating leftovers in his underwear with David as they watch soccer on TV. He shakes his head violently trying to get the nostalgic thoughts out of it. 

 

David contacts Leo on Friday and they make plans to meet in the bar at David’s hotel that evening. Leo texts Geri to let him know as a courtesy since he asked though he’s determined that this is going to go amiably and that there will be no tears shed.

Leo arrives at David’s hotel a few minutes before they’re set to meet. He goes to the bar and sits down. The bartender is a pretty guy but Leo can’t even admire him because he’s actually nervous. All the questions he could ask himself come rushing in: does David have a new boyfriend? What would he think about Leo still being single? 

“Can I get you something?” the bartender says.

Leo looks at him, briefly taken from his thoughts. “I’m waiting for someone right now.”

“No problem.” The bartender goes further down the bar where a woman has appeared to order.

Leo doesn’t wait long. David comes in and scans the room until he sees Leo by the bar and waves. He’s wearing a pinstripe light blue shirt with the top buttons undone and his hair is styled slicked to the side in that way Leo had always liked. He looks so good. Leo fidgets because he’s sure he looks like nervous crap in comparison. 

David hugs Leo when he reaches the bar. The contact doesn’t bother Leo as much as he expects it to with all his internal turmoil. It’s just friendly. They’re just friends. He takes in a breath and smiles the best he can. 

David orders a bottle of merlot with two glasses. He pours the wine and pushes a glass toward Leo. Leo watches him and tries to push away memories of David doing the same thing at his apartment just the two of them at night. 

“Cheers.” David raises his glass with a smile. 

Leo copies his movement and then they both take a drink.

“So, how are you, Leo?” David says.

Leo begins cautiously as they exchange more general aspects of their lives. David’s work is going well. He travels sometimes. Leo’s surprised by a strange combination of being relieved that David is doing well and wishing he had been at least slightly unhappy. David gives him an update on his family. Leo likes David’s family. His sisters were really kind to him when Leo had met them. 

“Aide was really upset that we broke up. She really misses you still and asks me how you’re going when I talk to her. She’ll be happy to hear I got to meet up with you.”

Leo can’t help but think that “we broke up” was a strange way to put David breaking his heart. There had been nothing mutual about that decision. “I miss her too and you can tell her I’m doing good. I’m doing the MBA now with Geri.” Leo takes a sip of wine while he waits for whatever follow up question David will have.

David smiles kindly but the words that leave his mouth are anything but. “I guess kids like you have to going into the family business, huh?”

Leo hides his frown in his glass. He’s upset by David speaking rudely about his family situation but he’s perhaps even more upset at David calling him a kid. He wants to tell David that he wasn’t a kid when he was fucking him when he was a freshman and David was in graduate school but he shuts his mouth and shrugs instead with a wry smile. David probably doesn’t mean anything nasty by it. He thinks it’s a joke if his body language is any indication. Maybe Leo would have thought it was a joke two years ago as well.

Leo stays as cool as he can. He lets David move the conversation ahead, turning to Leo’s MBA and how the classes are going. David was in the business school when Leo had met him so he’s taken a few MBA classes himself though he was doing a MS instead. Leo kind of hates that he feels mostly comfortable as they talk more. His nervousness fades a bit and he feels nostalgic knowing that having an easy conversation with David is only a one off now when it used to be something regular and comforting. 

“You look good though,” David says suddenly when there’s a lull in conversation.

It’s the last thing Leo expects him to say and it’s accompanied by a wide smile that makes Leo’s stomach do a flip. That smile could always make him weak at the knees. He had loved it so much. The same way he had loved David. 

“You look good too.” Leo feels a light blush coming on. He wonders if David means it the way he means it because David looks really good. He’s projecting the type of person that Leo had fallen for in the first place. The kind-hearted man who kisses passionately that set Leo afire. He wonders if that’s still true. How would his body react to it now?

David laughs and shakes his head. “Not good enough to hold on to a man. Do you have a boyfriend?”

Leo is suddenly very aware of his heart beating nervously once more. “No.”

“Huh.” David sounds surprised. He tops up Leo’s wine glass and his own. There’s not much left in the bottle now. “I thought for sure you’d have a boyfriend by now.”

David’s eyes narrow slightly and softly. It’s not sympathy. It’s something else that Leo’s not sure of or maybe he doesn’t want to be sure because it makes him even more anxious. 

Leo laughs nervously. “Geri has a boyfriend now, you know. They’re in love and it’s kind of sickening sometimes.”

Leo is trying to change the subject the best he can but David doesn’t reply. He downs the rest of the wine in his glass, still looking intently at Leo. Leo’s stomach tightens. He wonders what David is thinking. 

David leans forward slowly and lifts his hand, placing it on Leo’s cheek. Leo can barely breathe. David’s hand is the same, slightly rough but capable of touching Leo oh so gently.

“David—”

“Leo,” David says cutting him off. “Do you want to come back to my room? You don’t need to say yes but I just wanted to ask.”

It takes so much of Leo’s strength to not lean his cheek into David’s palm. His heart is thundering in his chest and his head is confused. He knows he should turn him down but if he’s being honest with himself, he wants someone to touch him properly, the way he knows that David can. The loneliness he’s been feeling seems to be come to a head.

David’s look is so utterly gentle. Leo honestly believes him that he won’t be upset if Leo says no. He can hear Geri and Cesc and even Ney telling him to turn David down. But he finds that he doesn’t want to. He wants this even though he shouldn’t and he’s drank just enough that he thinks he can handle it.

Leo finally nods in response to David’s invitation. “Ok.”

David smiles kindly and removes the hand from Leo’s face. Leo misses the sensation as soon as it’s gone. David pours the rest of the bottle of wine into his own glass and drinks it in one go. Leo smiles softly. Just like David not to want to waste anything. Leo follows his example and finishes his own glass. David stands when Leo is done and gestures for Leo to follow him.

Leo watches David closely as they take the elevator up to the fifth floor and head to David’s room. He looks calm. It’s the complete opposite of the way that Leo feels. He’s so nervous. He wonders if he’s made the right decision. If lust is an appropriate reason to have sex with the ex that broke your heart. He’s not sure but he’s not about to change his mind. If he regrets it later at least he’ll have gotten off. 

David goes slowly when they reach the room. Leo’s not sure if he prefers rushed and hot and heavy to the way that David kisses him and undresses him like they’ve got all the time in the world. He unbuttons Leo’s shirt, kissing his way slowly down his chest and stomach until he licks his way back up to recapture Leo’s lips. David’s lips find each piece of newly exposed skin. He sucks and licks and kisses all over Leo’s body until Leo’s down to his underwear and shaking from anticipation. Leo has needed to feel like this, this pleasure wrought from his body by someone else’s hands and David definitely knows how to do that to a t. 

 

The room is dark when Leo wakes up. The curtains are closed and block out all the light from outside. He can make out the shape of David asleep next to him. A sudden sadness overcomes him and he feels like an idiot because this is exactly what Geri probably knew would happen. It had been good. There was no question about that. David still remembers what Leo likes and it had been so tender, like making love instead of just sex and Leo feels disgusted with himself with how much he liked the illusion of love that it had given him. He is such an idiot. David is the last person he should be using like this.

He rolls out of bed as gently as he can manage, thankful that David is a heavy sleeper. He searches slowly in the dark for his clothes. There’s no way he can stay here. He doesn’t want to talk to David after a night like that. He would leave and then David would go back to California and they would go back to not speaking to each other and everything would be fine. He finds his jeans and pulls them on. His phone is still in his pocket. He takes it out and checks the time quickly. Thank goodness his phone was on a low brightness. It was somehow already eight o’clock. Those curtains weren’t kidding when they said they were blackout curtains. A good time to go home and ignore the fact that he felt like an ass for having a one night stand with his ex.

He expects to feel a bit better when he exits the room but he doesn’t. He is distinctly aware that he’s doing a walk of shame but he hopes he doesn’t look too worse for the wear. He waits for the elevator with a family, parents and their young daughter. Leo feels the embarrassment of being unkempt keenly. Could he get anymore pathetic? Could he get anymore lonely? Because that was what it came down to, didn’t it? Loneliness. Leo misses the companionship, someone to lie in bed with and spend lazy mornings with. He had always been able to bother Geri but now Geri had Sergio and he didn’t want to interrupt their time together even though he knew Geri would always make time for him no matter what. He blinks slowly, trying to sooth his suddenly burning eyes. Pitiful. 

The door to the elevator opens to the first floor and the family gets out first and he follows then stops in a corner and takes out his phone properly for the first time. There are a few texts from Geri and a missed call. He sighs and dials Geri back. The call is picked up almost immediately. 

“I told you to call me when you got back. What did you drink too much and fall asleep?”

Leo hesitates. “I—uh—I—”

“Oh God. Leo. Tell me you didn’t sleep with him.” 

Leo sighs. He can’t lie to Geri so he says nothing. Geri understands it to be an affirmation and he groans loudly.

“I can’t believe that asshole called you for a booty call.” 

Leo almost wants to laugh because only Geri would ignore the part that Leo naturally played in accepting and immediately vilify David. He sighs and closes his eyes, pressing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. 

“Leo? Is that you?”

Leo freezes and his eyes fly open to see Cristiano standing in front of him. Fuck. And him looking like he obviously just finished spending the night with someone. Cristiano on the other hand looks crisp and clean, not a gelled hair out of place. Why did his exes insist on tormenting him?

“Cris.” Leo doesn’t have anything else to say.

“Cris? Are you with Cristiano?” Geri’s voice says through the phone. He sounds as distressed as Leo suddenly feels.

“Geri, I’ll call you back,” Leo says, hanging up before he can hear the continuation of what Geri has to shout.

“Sorry, you were on the phone,” Cristiano says.

Leo shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“All right.”

Leo’s not sure what to say. There’s an awkward silence between them. He almost asks Cristiano what he’s doing here but realises quickly that it will open up the chance for the question to be returned so he keeps his mouth shut. Why did he have to bump into the other ex of all people? What kind of shitty luck?

“I was just dropping off something that a client forgot at the meeting yesterday,” Cristiano says.

Leo nods but doesn’t offer his own reason for standing in the lobby of a hotel at eight in the morning. He tries to look everywhere but at Cristiano who is looking at him carefully. This was so embarrassing.

“Are you busy?” Cristiano says.

“What?” Leo is confused as to why he’s asking.

“I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast. My treat.” Cristiano smiles. It’s kind. 

Leo remembers David’s smile from the night before. That was kind too but Cristiano’s smile makes him feel a warm. He was always sweet to Leo. Educated, accomplished, caring, exactly the type of guy Leo wants. But not only is Cristiano his ex but he might have a boyfriend back in Spain that means he would still be off limits if the first fact wasn’t true. Why is he thinking about Cristiano as boyfriend material anyway? 

“It’s fine. You don’t have to think so hard about it. I can have breakfast by myself.” Cristiano laughs.

Leo looks down embarrassed because he had been thinking a lot of other things that weren’t related to whether he should go to breakfast or not. “No. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Cristiano looks delighted to hear Leo accept his invitation. 

Cristiano always seems happy to spend time with Leo. It gives Leo a fuzzy feeling to think about it. 

They get an Uber outside and head to a cute French bistro in the West Village. They get a table near the window. It’s an informal place but Leo still feels a bit untidy wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Leo glances up at Cristiano. His menu is already lying on the table. So he’s decided already. Leo looks back down at his menu. It’s not extensive but it all looks good. Waffles. Croque madame. Eggs. He realises how hungry he is as he looks at it. The waffle calls to him so he decides on that. The server comes over and they order. Cristiano gets toast with turmeric eggs. 

“A client actually introduced me to this place,” Cristiano says.

“It’s cute,” Leo says, taking a proper look at the interior of the place. There are small decorative plates up on the walls as well as a few mirrors and the ceiling is a pretty neo-classical type of design. 

“Glad you like it. Hopefully you like the food too.”

“I hope so,” Leo says. 

He takes a look out the window as a woman and her dog pass along the sidewalk. Cristiano is looking at him so he continues staring out of the window instead of returning the gaze. Leo wonders what Cristiano thinks of his state this morning. They stay like that for the while it takes to bring the food. That gives Cristiano something else to do. 

Leo cuts into and takes a bite of his waffle and just wow. It’s heavenly. The outside is crisp and the inside is soft and the berries are sweet. Leo’s mouth can’t help but spread into a smile. There was nothing like food to improve a mood. He tries to take his time to savour the waffle but it’s don’t before he knows it. It takes Cristiano a bit longer to finish his toast and Leo feels a bit self-conscious that he’s eaten so quickly.

They order coffee after the meal. Cristiano takes his black and Leo gets a café au lait. 

Cristiano smiles when the server leaves again and rests his face in his raised palm. “You look better.”

“I do?” Leo is surprised to hear Cristiano comment on his expression.

“Yeah. I was hoping some good food would help and I’m glad it did.”

Leo chuckles, blushing slightly. He lifts his coffee to his lips and takes a sip for something to do.

“I know it’s none of my business but any guy who makes you look the way you did the morning after isn’t worth your time.”

Leo nearly chokes on his coffee. Cristiano was so straightforward. It didn’t mean he was wrong though. Leo puts down his cup and takes a deep breath. “I know. He was my ex.”

Cristiano’s eyes widen. “Did you cheat on your boyfriend with your ex?”

Astonished doesn’t even begin to cover Leo’s feeling after Cristiano speaks. He doesn’t even have time to be properly offended by Cristiano believing that he would cheat on a boyfriend because he’s still trying to process the fact that Cristiano thinks he has one to cheat on. 

“My what?” Leo says.

“Your boyfriend.”

“Like I said, my what?”

Cristiano frowns. He must be realising that he’s made a very incorrect assumption. “You’re not dating that kid? The one who came to GSI to visit? He was all up under you and looking at you with this stupid expression that I was sure he was in love with you or something.”

“Kid? Do you mean Neymar?” Leo’s disbelief only grows. “I mean, he is my friend but he’s definitely not my boyfriend.”

Cristiano blushes. His cheeks and ears turn red. It’s pretty cute from Leo’s point of view. It can’t be often that Cristiano blushes like that these days. Not the Cristiano that pulled off designer suits effortlessly and looked calm, cool and collected in his meetings. Leo feels lucky to get to see that side of him.

Cristiano quickly takes a gulp of coffee and changes the subject. Leo stifles a giggle and follows the conversation into the realm of his last few weeks at GSI and how he is going with finishing up his projects. 

They finish up their coffee. Cristiano pays even though Leo complains about it. It didn’t really matter that Cristiano had invited him, he could pay for himself. 

“Do you want to come over for dessert?” Leo says. “I know you don’t really have dessert with breakfast but I’d like to treat you since you managed to cheer me up and everything. My mom gave me banana bread the other day because she was practicing. It tastes pretty good even though she insisted it’s not perfect. And I probably also have some ice cream.”

Leo realises he’s spoken too many words and presses his lips together in an attempt not to ramble any more with the invitation. He’s nervous. He knows he shouldn’t be. Cristiano is his friend after all.

Cristiano smiles gently. “I’d like banana bread.”

Leo grins and lets out the breath he had been holding. “Great. That’s great.”

 

It’s the first time Cristiano has been in Leo’s apartment and Leo hopes to god that it’s as clean as he thinks it is as they head up in the elevator of his building. He repeats his wish in his mind over and over again as they come out of the elevator and stand in front of his door. Leo opens it with his key and turns on the light at the entrance so they can see. 

Cristiano follows him inside. Leo is grateful to find the living room only has a few books and a game controller on the table. There’s no errant socks or shoes in site. 

“Welcome to my apartment,” Leo says spreading out his arms to present the space. “You can take a seat. Do you want anything to drink with your banana bread? Do you want ice cream too?”

“No ice cream but I’ll take some water,” Cristiano says sitting on the edge of the sofa. 

Leo nods and heads into the kitchen. It was so weird to have Cristiano in his apartment. It meant that they really were friends again. Not just friends in words only. He tucks two bottles of water under his arm and grabs two plates and forks and a knife then takes the banana bread, balancing it all carefully and returns to the living room.

Cristiano helps him move the books on the coffee table so that he can rest everything down safely.

“Sorry. I should have helped you in the kitchen,” Cristiano says.

Leo shakes his head and cuts them each a piece of the bread. 

“You play a lot of games?” Cristiano says taking the plate with the slice when Leo offers it.

“When I have time. Sometimes Geri or Ney comes over and we play. It’s more fun with more people.” 

“I’m still no good at that kind of thing,” Cristiano says with a chuckle before he starts eating.

Leo smiles remembering Cristiano losing at most video games they played as kids. “Oh, there was that time you beat me at Tekken like ten times in a row.”

“Oh that’s just because I practiced every day after school for weeks just so I could finally win at something when it came to video games.”

“Didn’t your mom ground you because you got a D on a test because of that?”

Cristiano groans. “Don’t remind me. We couldn’t hang out for a month. That was awful. But that’s what I get. I was never good at school like you were. I always had to study so much to do well while you could study only before the test and come out with a B+ or an A. I was always jealous.”

Leo stops eating and puts down his plate. “You were jealous? But you always got at least a 95 on every test. My mom always talked about what a good student you were but you still had time to hang out with me after school and soccer practice.”

“That’s only because I studied when I got home after. I knew my mom or dad would complain I was spending too much time with you if my grades slipped. And I always wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.”

Cristiano looks serious when he says his final sentence. Leo feels the emotion behind his words. That time had been really important to Cristiano back then. It had been to Leo as well, especially when he thought about it now but he hadn’t known that Cristiano did so much, worked so hard just so they could spend time together. 

Neither of them speak. Leo feels a certain air in the room like nostalgia for the old times but also something more, especially with the way Cristiano is eyeing him like he’s holding back saying something. 

“Leo—” Cristiano begins but at the same time, the intercom buzzes loudly interrupting them. 

It buzzes again and Leo sighs and gets up to answer it. 

“Leo. It’s me,” Neymar’s voice says through the intercom. “I came to pick up the controller I left here last week.”

Leo knows Neymar doesn’t need that controller. He’s got spares at home. He must be checking on him after last night. Leo frowns. He doesn’t want Neymar to come up and see Cristiano. That will definitely get back to Geri and Leo hasn’t had a chance to talk to him properly about Cristiano since Geri has been so incredibly busy with everything.

“I’ve got it on the table. I’ll bring it down for you,” Leo says.

“Wait, Leo. Can I come up? Please. I really, really need to pee. I don’t think I can make it back.”

Leo glances at Cristiano who shrugs at him as if to tell him he doesn’t mind. He might not but Leo definitely does. What is he supposed to do though when Neymar is begging him to use his toilet? 

“Yeah all right. Come on up.” Leo hangs up and opens the door downstairs with a sigh. He smiles apologetically at Cristiano and grabs the controller then waits by the door. With some luck, Neymar will use the half bath that’s in the opposite direction of the living room, take the controller and leave after seeing that Leo is indeed all right. 

Neymar knocks and Leo opens the door quickly. Neymar runs past him and to the toilet in a hurry. Now to get him out.

When he’s done, Neymar comes back out and sighs a huge sigh. “God. I thought I was gonna die for real. Leo, you’re such a life saver.”

Neymar takes a step towards the living room as if he’s intending to stay longer.

“I’ve got your controller here,” Leo says, trying to distract him. 

“Oh cool. But hey, you said you mom had made banana bread right? Can I have some? I love your mom’s baked goods. They always taste so good.” Neymar moves towards the living room again.

“Hey Ney. Hold on. Why don’t I go get it for you?” Leo attempts and fails because Neymar ignores him completely and walks into the living room, stopping in his tracks just inside the room.

Leo enters behind him still holding the controller and cursing his bad luck. Geri is going to curse him out. Having Cristiano in his apartment the day after he’s slept with David would not go over well in Geri’s protective mind. 

“Ney, you don’t know Cristiano, he left the school before you entered

Neymar doesn’t look happy. He’s frowning at Cristiano and not even trying to hide it. Had Geri told Neymar about Cristiano?

Cristiano stands and comes across to offer his hand to Neymar.

He turns away from Cristiano and takes the controller right out of Leo’s hands. “I’ll see you later, Leo.” He looks at Cristiano again briefly and then just walks out of the apartment.

Leo is so stunned that he doesn’t even go after him. Just stands there and stares at the door to the living room. “Well, I have no idea what that was,” he says finally when he’s recovered his senses.

“I think he may have been jealous?” Cristiano says.

Leo looks at him, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Who? Ney? No way. We’re just friends.”

“Does that mean you don’t like him? Because he definitely likes you, Leo.” 

Leo shakes his head. “He doesn’t. I don’t get why Geri and now you think that. I’m like his big brother. He’s literally told me this himself.”

Cristiano looks thoughtful. “Hm, so if he did like you, you would date him?”

“I—” Leo hesitates. He would never want to hurt Neymar in any way but he also didn’t think of him in that way. “No.”

“Why not? He’s seems like he’s very much in love with you.”

“Because he—he’s just---because he’s Ney.”

It’s a very vague reason but Cristiano nods like he understands. “So he’s not your type.”

Leo has to think about that statement for a moment. Neymar was really sweet and he was also cute, even Leo could admit that, but he didn’t really tick Leo’s boxes the way say David had. Maybe he was just into older guys. He suddenly becomes distinctly aware that Cristiano is still older than him, even if it’s not by much, and Cristiano definitely ticks a lot of boxes, though he doesn’t tick the all-important single box. “I guess not.”

“That’s too bad for him then. Try to let him down easy when he works up the courage to finally let you know.” 

Leo rolls his eyes because he still doesn’t believe that Neymar likes him. He can’t believe that he wouldn’t have at least an inkling of it. 

They sit back down and polish off a second round of banana bread. Cristiano doesn’t mention Neymar again. 

Somehow Cristiano suggests watching a movie and they end up looking at Moana because Cristiano hasn’t seen it and Leo thinks that it’s a travesty not to have seen such a good film. The sofa is big but they sit next to each other and Cristiano’s knee touches Leo’s when he shifts every now and then. Leo’s lucky he’s already seen Moana at least five times because it distracts him more than he wants to admit. 

“That was pretty good,” Cristiano says after the credits start. He grins at Leo.

Leo wonders what it says about him that he thinks about kissing Cristiano immediately after a children’s movie. Cristiano is off limits he reminds himself but he can’t help but think about how Cristiano would react if Leo were to kiss him right then. God. He did like Cristiano. 

They sit through the credits in silence. Cristiano gets up to leave after. It’s still early afternoon but apparently he has work to do at home.

“Sorry for keeping you from something important,” Leo says as Cristiano makes his way slowly towards the door. 

Cristiano just smiles. “That’s no problem. I got to cheer you up. Just like when we were just little kids.”

They reach the door and stand there. Cristiano doesn’t seem like he wants to leave just yet and maybe Leo feels the same just a bit.

“Yeah. I would fall or scratch myself or something else silly and cry and you in your infinitely superior and wise eight years would comfort six-year-old Leo.”

Cristiano’s smile softens into something gentler. “I guess you’re big enough to take care of yourself now.”

“Almost. If today’s anything to go by, I might still need that kind of help. Thanks again for always being so nice to me by the way.” He feels a bit embarrassed that he had looked pathetic enough that Cristiano had wanted to cheer him up in the first place but he appreciates it. “Your boyfriend must be really happy to be dating someone so sweet.” He laughs at his own statement but he feels that disappointment again. The one that he felt when he was told that Cristiano had a boyfriend.

Cristiano’s brow wrinkles as his face gets serious. “Who told you I had a boyfriend?”

Leo is surprised by the seriousness of Cristiano’s reaction. He hadn’t realised that it was such a big deal that people knew he had a boyfriend back in Spain. “Um, well Judith. She said a friend who works at Dora told her.”

Cristiano sighs and shakes his head. “Of course, it was Judith. I suppose her friend didn’t tell her that the rumour is false.”

“But she said—”

“She said someone heard me telling someone that I loved them on the phone right?” Cristiano sounds and looks annoyed. The rumour must have been all over his company at some point after all and now here he was hearing it from Leo as well who had nothing to do with the fashion house. “I was talking to my sister who’s been in Portugal for the past few months.”

Leo’s mouth hangs open in shock. No way. It hadn’t been a boyfriend but his sister. What kind of fucking gossipmonger would take that information and spread a rumour so far that it reached other companies? 

“So you don’t have a boyfriend?” 

“No.”

Leo doesn’t know what to say. He feels like an idiot but also there’s a disturbing relief that spreads throughout his body at hearing that Cristiano is actually single. He wishes he could stop it but it’s undeniably there, the fact that he has a chance that he didn’t want to admit he wanted. 

“I’ll have to have a talk with Judith if she’s spreading rumours and not spreading when those rumours are disproven.” Cristiano shakes his head one more time. “Let me get out of your hair now.”

Cristiano gives Leo a hug and then leaves. Leo can feel his warmth even after he’s let go and the door is closed behind him.

 

Sunday is quiet. Leo wakes up in the morning and eats toast for breakfast because he’s feeling lazy. He keeps thinking about Cristiano. He was single and didn’t have a secret boyfriend he was hiding back in Spain. Then there were the visits to the office at GSI that he didn’t have to do according to Judith. Was it really just so he could see Leo? The idea excites him but he has to keep the feeling in check. Cristiano’s attention might not be romantic after all. All of this thinking was giving him a headache. It’s still early in the day so he goes back to bed and lies down so that he can scroll through Instagram on his phone. Geri has posted some pictures with Sergio. Apparently they had gone out yesterday which explains why he hasn’t called Leo yet to check up on him.

His mother calls him around eleven.

“Hi, Mamá.”

“Leo, how is your morning going? Have you had breakfast?”

Leo chuckles. She was always worried about his eating since he started living alone. “Yes, Mamá.”

“Good. Now, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to a Mozart concert. I was supposed to go with Lucinda but she has food poisoning. I was thinking you could invite Cristiano to go with you. It’ll give you two a chance to hang out more.” 

“Don’t you want to go?”

“Well, I was just thinking you would rather go with a friend than your mother,” she says with a giggle.

Leo is instantly suspicious because her giggle makes it sound like she has an ulterior motive to giving him the tickets. “When does it start?”

“It’s early. At 2:30 but it’s just over at the Lincoln Center so you can make it.” She sounds hopeful.

“He’s probably busy already,” Leo says. Those are his words but he really likes the idea of being able to see Cristiano again so soon.

His mother sighs and Leo can practically see her shaking her head. “It doesn’t hurt to ask, Leo. Call him and tell me what he says.” Then she hangs up before Leo can answer her.

He considers texting Cristiano but it’s quicker to just call so he does. 

“Leo?” Cristiano answers after one ring.

Leo gets surprisingly excited to hear his voice. This was definitely a crush, wasn’t it? 

“Cris. Hi,” Leo says. He definitely sounds a bit nervous and he hopes Cristiano doesn’t notice.

“What’s up? Or did you just call to hear my voice?”

Cristiano’s voice is smooth and it almost sounds like he’s flirting. Leo feels a tinge of a blush coming on and he’s so happy this is just a phone call. 

“Well, I know it’s short notice but my mom just offered me tickets a Mozart concert at Lincoln Center and I was wondering if you wanted to go. It starts at 2:30 so I get it if you’re busy or it’s too soon or even if you hate Mozart and don’t wanna go.”

Cristiano laughs. It’s a soft, amused sound that Leo thinks he likes very much. 

“I’m not busy and I don’t mind Mozart so I sure.”

“Really?” Leo grins to himself at the good news.

“Yeah. But I have one request.”

Leo immediately stops smiling. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing bad. Don’t worry,” Cristiano says with a chuckle. He must have heard Leo’s concern in his voice. “I just want you to let me take you to dinner later.”

“Oh. But’s you’re always taking me out and I still haven’t returned the favour.” 

“You’re providing the tickets. Let me provide the meal.”

Leo frowns but he doesn’t think Cristiano will take no for an answer unless it’s Leo turning down dinner on the whole and he wants to spend time with him so that was out of the question. “All right but nothing fancy, ok?”

Cristiano laughs one more time. “No problem. Let me go get ready then and I’ll meet you there?”

“Sounds good,” Leo says enthusiastically.

“See you later,” Cristiano says and hangs up.

Leo is surprised at how happy Cristiano saying yes makes him. He’s not the biggest fan of Mozart but he does appreciate good music so he doesn’t mind. Besides, it was an excuse to spend the day with Cristiano again so he was sure the music would sound even better.

 

Leo picks up the tickets from his mother and then heads to the Lincoln Center. Cristiano is already there. He looks crisp in his navy windowpane blazer and white shirt with matching tie. It’s only natural for him to always look good having grown up around fashion his entire life but Leo is still impressed. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Cristiano since he came back and not thought he looked good. 

“Sorry. I left a little late,” Leo says when he reaches where Cristiano is standing at the edge of the lobby space. 

Cristiano smiles. “No problem. I only just got here.”

It’s cute the way Cristiano’s smile is still just a little goofy. Leo likes it because he can tell that Cristiano is being genuine. He returns the smile gladly.

“The doors are already open, right? Should we get seated?” Leo says taking out the tickets from his pocket. He hands one to Cristiano, their fingers brushing slightly in the exchange. His body tingles with the contact.

They take their seats and talk a bit until the concert starts. Leo is still surprised how easy it’s been to fall back into friendship with Cristiano. Friendship and a bit more, he reminds himself. Although the admission isn’t out loud, it still makes his heart quicken. Leo would rather just hang out with Cristiano than stay for the music but he promised his mother that he would enjoy the concert and Cristiano seems excited, sitting up when the players come out to check their instruments. Soon the lights are going low and the event starts. 

It’s enjoyable. Leo finds himself glancing at Cristiano quite a bit. He’s observing the musicians carefully with a smile. Leo had no idea that he was so interested in orchestral music. He would have to remember. Maybe they could come to another concert together some time. Leo likes to see Cristiano enjoy himself. He is sure Cristiano works hard and is happy to help him relax.

“I didn’t know you were so into classical music,” Leo says when the concert is at intermission.

Cristiano looks at him with a grin. “What I don’t seem like the type?”

“Well, I didn’t think you would hate it but you were smiling the entire time. I’m glad you liked it so much,” Leo says.

“Were you watching me, Leo?” Cristiano leans in close taking Leo’s chin in his hand and turning his face gently to the front. “The stage is over there.” 

He’s so close that it turns into more of a whisper. The combination of Cristiano’s touch and voice in his ear has Leo blushing and his heart beating fiercely. It was unfair that Cristiano was able to have such an effect on him. God. He hoped Cristiano wasn’t looking at him too closely. Cristiano releases his face and pulls away. Leo knew he was just teasing but he wonders if it could be a bit more like flirting as well. It’s too bad that Cristiano’s smile doesn’t give anything away.

Leo tries his best not to look at Cristiano too much during the second half. Once he does and he finds Cristiano looking at him already. Cristiano nudges him with his knee then to get him to pay attention so he does. Or at least, he attempts to pay attention.

It turns out that Cristiano’s plan for a meal involves take out at Cristiano’s apartment.

“You said you didn’t want anything fancy so I thought this would be ok. Do you like sushi?” Cristiano says in the Uber back to his.

Leo nods. He’s a bit anxious at the idea of being let into Cristiano’s personal space. Yes, Cristiano had already been to his apartment but that was different. Leo was accustomed to it but he didn’t know what to expect from Cristiano’s apartment.

Cristiano lives in a loft in TriBeCa. It’s a nice wide open space and a very literal loft with his bedroom up some stairs. He’s got it decorated all in white with dark wood accents. Leo likes it. It suits the clean and crisp aura that he projects most of the time. Cristiano orders the sushi. Leo goes for his usual dragon roll. It’s never the same in every place but it always tastes good. Cristiano gets an eel roll and also orders some other individual pieces of nigiri.

There’s actually a soccer friendly being played so they turn on the TV and watch Inter play Tottenham. They had both played in school. Leo had continued playing up until last year when he started the MBA program that takes up too much of his time. He doesn’t know whether Cristiano had continued playing in school in Spain. Leo doubts he has time now. Maybe that was why he offered his services to a soccer-based non-profit. 

They finally get their food at half-time. Tottenham is trailing Inter two goals to one. Neither Leo nor Cristiano are invested in either team so they are enjoying it neutrally and criticising bad plays and praising good passes. It’s only a friendly but good soccer is still nice to see. 

“I’m so hungry,” Leo says as Cristiano lays the food out on his coffee table. He had only had toast for breakfast after all.

“So am I,” Cristiano says with a laugh. 

Leo grabs his chopsticks and starts eating when Cristiano sits down. Yes. This dragon roll was perfect. Leo closes his eyes and happily puts another piece in his mouth then another when that piece is sadly gone. Cristiano starts laughing beside him causing Leo to reopen his eyes.

“What?” 

“It’s just you look so happy to be eating that sushi. It’s kind of cute,” Cristiano says.

Leo nearly chokes. Did Cristiano just call him cute? 

Cristiano puts down his plate and scoots over until his thigh is pressed against Leo’s. Leo can barely breathe. He has no idea what’s going on but it makes him nervous. 

“You have—” Cristiano leans in closer to Leo. “A grain of rice. Right. Here.” Cristiano plucks the rice from Leo’s face and then has the gall to put it in his mouth as he stares straight into Leo’s face. “Tasty.”

Leo’s on the verge of having a heart attack. What the fuck was that? And why was Cristiano so close still? He wasn’t moving back and he kept looking at Leo, his expression going from teasing to something that resembled desire. 

“Cris.”

Cristiano blinks slowly. His lashes are long and pretty, Leo notices. 

“Leo.” Cristiano’s voice is low. He leans in slowly once more.

Leo freezes. Cristiano is so close now, face hovering before Leo’s. All Leo has to do is move slightly to press their lips together. So he does. Just leans forward and kisses Cristiano like he wants to. Cristiano kisses back. It’s so much, feeling Cristiano’s lips moving against his and the way Cristiano slips his hand behind his head so that he can kiss him more forcefully. They pull apart for a second to catch their breaths but Cristiano is soon on him again, pulling Leo towards him. Leo rolls with it. He fumbles with the plate in his lap nearly dropping it as he tries to put it on the table without getting too far from Cristiano then he’s climbing into Cristiano’s lap, straddling his legs. Leo wants him. He wants him so badly. There’s too much space so he closes it down. He holds Cristiano’s face in his hands and kisses him hard delighting in the pleasurable tinge of bruising pain that comes along with it. There’s no turning back now for Leo. He’s not sure what Cristiano wants but Leo knows what he himself needs.

“Fuck, Leo.” Cristiano’s voice is husky, heavy with the desire that Leo feels in every inch of his body.

Cristiano pulls Leo’s hair, tipping Leo’s head back so that he can kiss and lick his throat. Leo moans and rolls his hips forward grinding against Cristiano. He feels like he’s on fire. His body is growing warmer, hot with need. His fingers scramble blindly with the buttons of Cristiano’s shirt. He just has to get his hands on him properly. One button. Two. Why did shirts have to have so many goddamn buttons? He growls in frustration and Cristiano laughs against his neck.

“Your shirt has too many damn buttons,” Leo says. 

Cristiano releases Leo’s hair and helps with the buttons. Leo uses the opportunity to kiss Cristiano again. This time is sloppier, less focused. Cristiano sucks lightly on Leo’s bottom lip and it turns him on even more. 

“There you go,” Cristiano says, guiding Leo’s hand to his chest.

They kiss as Leo runs his hands over Cristiano’s body. He only has a moment to ponder what hair removal technique Cristiano favours before Cristiano works his way at Leo’s buttons, skilfully undoing them until he can slip the fabric off of Leo’s shoulders. Leo presses them together enjoying the feel of naked skin on skin. Cristiano’s arm finds its way around Leo’s waist so that he can pull Leo closer as they kiss again and again. Cristiano pushes his tongue into Leo’s mouth and Leo groans. His head is light with pleasure. He grinds down on Cristiano and likes how Cristiano’s grip on him tightens. Cristiano is turned on as well. Leo can feel as much between them. It flatters him to know that Cristiano wants him too. 

The soccer game is still playing on TV but it’s as forgotten as the food on the table. All of Leo’s attention is focused on what is happening: the way Cristiano kisses him, sometimes hard sometimes a bit softer nibbling at his lips; the distracting hardness pressing against the front of his slacks and the one pressing against him in Cristiano’s jeans; the fact that one of Cristiano’s hands is stroking his back while the other deftly undoes Leo’s belt. It’s kind of impressive that Cristiano can undo it with just one hand. There’s so much for him to focus on.

Leo doesn’t pretend to be as skilled as Cristiano at taking off clothes so he undoes Cristiano’s belt with both hands. Cristiano’s hand reaches into Leo’s trunks, wrapping a hand around Leo’s cock. Leo sucks in and releases a shaky breath. The feel of Cristiano’s hand is amazing. 

“Oh god.” Leo tips his head back, closing his eyes. 

Cristiano pulls him back in, pressing his lips to Leo’s chin then his lips once more. Leo rocks his hips, trying to move in Cristiano’s hand. Cristiano let’s go and Leo whines pushing against him. Cristiano kisses him as if to say sorry. Leo’s not quite appeased but he kisses back anyway, his own hand joining Cristiano’s between them so that he can stroke himself. Cristiano’s tongue is so hot in his mouth. The combination of the deep kiss and touching himself makes his head even lighter. Cristiano pulls out his cock. The head brushes against Leo’s hand, smearing precum across his knuckles. 

Leo opens his hand and wraps it around both their cocks. Cristiano moans gorgeously against Leo’s mouth. Leo loves listening to the noises Cristiano makes. The little moans and the laboured breathing turn him on even more. 

Cristiano opens his legs wider, forcing Leo to change his position. Leo gets off of Cristiano’s lap briefly pushing off his pants and trunks so that he can fold himself more comfortably to sit between Cristiano’s legs. He has to hold on to Cristiano with both arms around his neck to keep himself up more easily but Cristiano understands what he needs to do, wrapping his hand around both cocks and stroking. Leo kisses him sloppily. It feels amazing to have Cristiano’s cock sliding against his. Cristiano moves his hand agonisingly slow at first. 

“Cris, please,” Leo whines, thrusting lightly into Cristiano’s palm.

Cristiano chuckles and swipes a thumb over the head of Leo’s cock. He presses against the slit spreading the precum collected there before he complies with Leo’s request and begins stroking them at a more reasonable pace. They kiss lazily, breaths coming heavy and shaky. 

It doesn’t take long for Leo to get close. He presses a sweaty forehead into Cristiano’s shoulder, wetting the shirt that’s still on his back. Cristiano drops a kiss on the side of his head. Leo groans. The desire pools in his groin, building and building. 

“Leo.”

Cristiano’s voice makes Leo look up. Cristiano smiles at him and kisses him deeply, sliding his tongue into Leo’s mouth. It pushes Leo over the edge. He comes with a groan, trembling as the feeling takes over him. Cristiano follows soon after, slowing his hand and tightening his grip on Leo with the other. Leo gives Cristiano a final kiss and then presses their foreheads together so that he can catch his breath. Cristiano wipes off his hand on Leo’s stomach. Leo doesn’t mind, just collapses against Cristiano, smearing the come between their two bodies.

“Are you all right?” Cristiano’s hand comes up to caress Leo’s hair. 

Leo takes a deep breath to steady himself and leans back so that he can smile for Cristiano to see. “I’m good. Really good. Great actually.”

Cristiano smiles back gently using his clean hand to caress Leo’s cheek. “Do you want to take a shower?”

“Together?” Leo says. He’s surprised and then he realises that Cristiano hadn’t meant it that way by how wide his eyes go. He blushes. “I didn’t—I thought that’s what you meant.”

“That sounds counterproductive.”

“We don’t have to.”

“No.” Cristiano shakes his head. “I don’t mind at all.”

Cristiano’s smile is seductive and Leo finds his heartrate going right back up. He swallows, trying to calm himself and nods to show Cristiano that he doesn’t mind either. He doesn’t mind another opportunity to touch Cristiano and get off with him. Honestly, it feels like a dream that this has happened at all. It felt amazing to know that Cristiano desired him. 

“Should we go then?” Cristiano says, massaging Leo’s hips and narrowing his eyes invitingly.

Leo nods and climbs off of Cristiano to stand. Cristiano gets up to join him, shrugging his sweat and come stained shirt off. When he takes Leo’s hand and pulls, Leo follows.

 

Leo wishes his emotions weren’t immediately on display in his face.

“Did something good happen?” Judith asks first thing Monday morning.

Leo’s only just sat down at his desk and she sneaks up on him, terrifying him. He swivels in his chair to look at her. 

“You were humming,” she says with a mischievous grin.

Leo hadn’t realised. He curses himself for being indiscrete. “I was listening to music on the way here so it must have stuck in my head.”

“Yeah? What song was it?” She looks way too interested.

Leo shrugs. “I wasn’t really aware of the humming. I was focused on this report.” He tries to go back to typing but Judith doesn’t move away. 

It doesn’t seem she’s satisfied that Leo doesn’t remember even though he honestly doesn’t. 

“It was kind of slow. Like this.” Judith hums something.

Leo immediately knows what song it is even though she’s done a terrible job. He must have been humming a long time and that song had indeed come on his playlist this morning but what a song for his mind to choose.

“I can’t tell what that is,” Leo says simply. Judith doesn’t need to know he’s lying.

She frowns. “Really? I swear it was exactly like that.” She walks the few steps to Bruno’s desk. Leo freezes. Bruno was the resident music nerd. He listened and knew everything from oldies to rock to pop and rap. It was ridiculous. Leo has no idea how he has any space left in his brain to remember what he needs for work. It isn’t that serious is it that she has to really find out what song it was.

Bruno turns when Judith calls him and she hums the song, badly again but if Leo could figure it out, he’s sure he’s busted. 

“Do you know what song that is?” Judith says.

Bruno shakes his head at her. “That was seriously awful, Judith. But it sounds like Etta James, ‘At Last’.”

Judith glances back at Leo, eyes wide before she looks back to Bruno who is clearly ready for her to leave him alone. She sings a bit of the song. Leo understands why her humming is terrible now. Her singing voice is even worse. He giggles at the unimpressed look on Bruno’s face.

“Yeah. Though I’d suggest you stop butchering the poor woman’s song,” Bruno says.

Judith chooses to completely ignore the insult probably because she’s just found out some good gossip about Leo. “That’s a love song right?”

“Yes, Judith,” Bruno says. “Now can I please start my work?”

“Thank you so much!” Judith says excitedly before she turns on Leo with a look like a hungry lion. “So,” she says making her way back to Leo’s desk, “does this mean you two got together?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Leo says. He’s starting to blush even though he’s not lying. They just had sex. That doesn’t mean they’re going out though Leo wouldn’t mind if they were. Cristiano hadn’t brought anything like that up though. They had got in the shower together and then spent time making out yet again after which had unsurprisingly ended in sex. Leo had left in the middle of the night because he had to make it in for work today. There hadn’t really been that much time for talking about what all they were doing meant.

Judith leans in close. “Mr. Dos Santos,” she whispers.

Well, obviously. Leo sighs. “It’s nothing like that. I just happened to be humming because that’s what was on my playlist this morning.”

Judith opens her mouth to say something else but thankfully Leo is saved when the director calls her to his office. She glances at Leo one more time and then leaves him to do her job.

 

Leo has just made it home when his phone rings. He expects Geri. It’s likely that Neymar’s already told Geri if Geri had really told him things about Cristiano, but it’s not. It’s David. Leo stares at the phone unsure of whether he should answer. The ringing ends after a while and the call goes to voicemail. It’s not long before the phone begins ringing again. Leo answers still reluctant but he has a feeling David will keep calling. He moves over to the kitchen bar and sits up in a chair then answers. 

“Hello,” he says.

“Leo, are you busy?” 

There’s the sound of David moving about his hotel room. It’s hard for Leo to believe that he was there just that Saturday. It feels like ages ago after the time he’s spent with Cristiano. It’s kind of surprising to realise that Cristiano has improved his mood so much.

“Not really,” Leo says switching the call to speaker so that he can fold up a napkin for something to do.

There’s a pause and a bit of indistinct crinkling in the background of the call.

“So can we talk?” David says.

“I guess. What do you want to talk about?” Leo unfolds the napkin. He knows what David wants to talk about but he doesn’t really want to talk.

“Why did you leave Saturday? I was hoping we could talk that morning.” David’s voice is soft.

“Well, we’re talking now,” Leo says. He would be lying if he says he’s not sorry to hear the gentleness in David’s voice. It makes him feel like an asshole because it implies that David wasn’t only after physical gratification last night. Leo can’t say the same though. Not after he’s been with Cristiano where it felt so different. 

“Can we meet and talk?”

Leo crumples the napkin between his fingers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

David sighs. “Leo please. I just want to talk.”

David sounds desperate and it breaks Leo’s resolve. He owes David a proper conversation, he thinks. “All right.”

“Can I come over?” 

“I’ll come to you. Should I just come to your hotel?” Leo says. He gets out of his seat and goes to put on his shoes. He doesn’t want David in his apartment. He’s not confident in his ability to resist him in this familiar space that both of them were used to being in together.

“Do you remember the room number?”

Leo nods even though he knows David can’t see him. “Yeah. I’m leaving now. I’ll see you in a minute.” He hangs up and takes a deep breath in and breathes out. 

It takes a while to get down into Midtown. There’s traffic so it’s thirty minutes before he arrives at David’s hotel. The ride up in the elevator is by himself and it gives him a bit of time to think about what’s probably going to happen. He wonders if he’s being too conceited by thinking that David is going to ask him to get back together. It makes the most sense though. David could have spoken to him on the phone but the fact that he wants to meet makes it seem more serious.

Leo knocks when he arrives at the room. David opens it almost immediately. He looks nervous. Leo has only seen David nervous like this a handful of times. He’s always seemed confident to Leo. 

“I’m glad you could make it,” David says with a smile as Leo walks past him into the room.

There’s a moment where it seems as though David wants to come in for a hug but he thinks better of it and keeps his hands to himself. 

David is still handsome even now but Leo’s heart isn’t racing with the affection that comes with attraction. He’s nervous but because he’s afraid that he’s making another mistake by wanting to turn David down. David had been his first real relationship. Dating Cristiano secretly for two months one summer at fourteen doesn’t really count in the same way. He had crushed hard on Cristiano for years but he had been violently in love with David. He had really believed in his youthful optimism that they would be able to be together forever like in a movie. That was how passionately he had felt. He had wanted to marry him and he had thought that David had felt the same way. That was until David had given up on their love because he didn’t want to deal with the distance. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” David asks.

Leo shakes his head but doesn’t say anything. He wants to get this over with but he’s also dreading it. What if he did get back together with David and it turned into what he had expected two years ago? Or maybe there would never again be that trust in David’s love that he had felt? And then there was Cristiano. Was he willing to throw away those feelings that had a chance of being returned? He wondered if he was just hoping for something romantic, getting together with his first love after nine years apart. The uncertainty frustrates him but he knows he has to decide.

“Leo.” David comes close and takes Leo’s hand. “I know I hurt you. I’ve thought about it nearly every day for the past two years.”

Leo considers just slotting their fingers together like they used to. It takes a surprising amount of willpower not to but he doesn’t pull away either.

“I want you to know that I miss you, Leo. I wasn’t sure whether I should say anything, whether you had moved on but then it felt so right being with you again.”

His heart aches hearing David’s honest feelings and the promise in those words of going back to what they were. But Leo knows it would never be the same. Not knowing that David could give him up so easily in the first place

David touches Leo’s cheek lightly, cupping it, and he looks into Leo’s eyes with a loving expression. “Do you think you could love me again?”

Leo looks away. He has to answer David’s question and possibly break David’s heart the way David had done to him. He extracts his hand from David’s and steps back. David’s hands drop to his sides.

Leo swallows and takes a deep breath. “David. I can’t.”

“Leo—”

“No. David. Please listen to me.”

David goes silent, his expression pained. Leo hates that he’s the cause.

“I—I’m really sorry. I used you and that was wrong of me. I guess, I just wanted to be with someone who already knew me. Honestly, I think if you had told me this and if we had done this a year ago, I would have still been in love with you, but now—now, I would only be accepting you because it’s what I know not because I love you. You deserve better than for me to do that to you.”

David looks disappointed. His mouth is smiling but there’s a self-deprecating aspect to it. “So I’m too late.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo says.

David shakes his head. “Don’t be. I should have realised what I had earlier.”

They stand there in silence for a moment. Leo’s not sure how to leave. He knows that this will probably be the last time he’ll see David in a very long time and although he feels a bit bad about it, he’ll miss the nostalgic that feeling seeing David gives him.

“Well, I’m leaving tomorrow, so I should start packing.”

That’s Leo’s cue to leave. He takes in David’s face one last time.

“I guess I’ll get out of your hair then,” Leo says. He turns to leave.

“Bye, Leo.”

Leo turns briefly and gives David a small smile before he exits the hotel room. Outside he takes a deep breath. That was it. He was finally done with the David chapter of his life and it was time to move on. His mind briefly thinks of Cristiano in that moment. The thought gives him butterflies. It’s a bit ironic to move on from one ex to another but somehow it feels good and Leo finds he can’t really complain.

 

Apparently, Monday is a good day for phone calls because Geri calls him late into the night around ten when he’s getting ready to sleep. He might as well get this conversation over with. When he picks up the phone the first thing out of Geri’s mouth is “Neymar said he saw Cristiano at yours when he went to check on you.”

“No ‘Hello, Leo. How are you?’” Leo says with a weak laugh.

Geri sighs. “Hello, Leo. How are you?”

“I’m great, Geri. Thanks for asking.”

“Sergio thinks I should leave you alone to do what you want but you’re playing with fire and I don’t want to see you get burned.”

Leo rolls onto his back and puts the phone on speaker so that he can rest it on his chest. He closes his eyes. “I did something stupid. I know. I shouldn’t have slept with David. But really you should be proud of me because I turned him down today. He asked me to get back together and I told him no.”

Geri is silent. “That’s—good. I’m glad you have some sense of self-preservation.”

“Great. I’m gonna sleep now so I’ll talk to you later?” It’s a hopeful attempt and Geri doesn’t bite but Leo had to try anyway.

“No. We’re not done. Why was Cristiano in your apartment?”

Leo sighs. “We were just hanging out after he found me Saturday morning. He cheered me up with breakfast and I invited him over for banana bread.”

“Did you have sex with him too?”

Ugh. Why did Geri have to be so straightforward at times? Leo’s glad no one’s there to see him blush and he stumbles over his response. “I—well, I mean—”

“That sounds like a yes.”

“Ok fine. I did but that was on Sunday not Saturday.”

Geri is silent again. Leo takes a deep breath to prepare himself for whatever scolding Geri is about to give him.

“Why were you with him on Sunday?”

“My mom gave me tickets to the Mozart at the Lincoln Center and she suggested I take Cristiano.”

“I feel like I’m missing something here. Why would she suggest you take Cristiano instead of I don’t know a friend or even just someone who isn’t an asshole?” 

“He is my friend, Geri,” Leo says.

“Since when?”

“He consults for GSI so I see him at work sometimes. We just kind of started talking again.” 

“Why didn’t I know this? I’m not your friend anymore?” Geri actually sounds upset to not be in the know when it came to Leo’s life. 

Leo scoffs. “Well, I haven’t seen you in like a month and you hardly ever text me anymore.” He probably shouldn’t be antagonising Geri. He knows that Geri is concerned about him but he wasn’t lying. Geri had basically disappeared from his life since the summer started. It was only natural that he would find someone to spend time with even if that turned out to be an ex-boyfriend.

“Leo, you know I’ve been busy.”

“Not too busy to go to parties with Sergio. What? You don’t think I see your Instagram? I’m not blind, Geri. I get he’s your boyfriend but I thought we were best friends. Does that go out the window just because I don’t suck your dick?” Leo’s breathing heavily by the time he’s done talking. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to get that upset. 

Geri is quiet.

“Geri, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“I’m coming over,” Geri says.

Leo sits up suddenly. “What? It’s like ten o’clock.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Geri hangs up without even a goodbye. Leo sighs. He shouldn’t have spoken to Geri like that. He didn’t really mean it. Not much anyway. He understood that Geri was busy with the start-up and that he had his relationship with Sergio that was only a year old to think about whereas he and Leo had been friends since they were eleven. They had survived month long family vacations apart. Why was Leo complaining now? 

Geri arrives fifteen minutes later. Leo stays in his pyjamas and answers the door. As soon as he closes it, Geri hugs him tightly.

“Geri, what are you doing?” Leo says, muffled by Geri’s chest.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t realise you wouldn’t be ok. I’ve been so focused on spending time with Sergio. I didn’t want him to be upset that we weren’t spending time together but I forgot that you’re important to me too.”

Leo blushes. “You’re being embarrassing. It’s fine.”

Geri pulls back and rests his hands of Leo’s shoulders, looking right into his eyes. “It’s not fine. I left you alone. I mean, Cesc is out there on his fucking European tour with Daniella and Ney’s taking summer classes as well as interning. I’m sorry I’m a shitty friend.”

“You’re not a shitty friend, Geri,” Leo says with a laugh. “If anything I’m the shitty friend for saying those things to you when I know you’re busy and trying your best.”

“Does this mean we’re good?”

Leo nods. “We were never actually bad, so yeah.”

Geri seems relieved. He finally moves their reunion into the living room. “So about Cristiano,” he says dropping down on the couch.

“We’re just friends.”

“You like him,” Geri says seriously.

Leo opens his mouth to say no but lying to Geri is useless. “I guess so.”

Geri sighs and wipes his hands over his face. “God, Leo, what am I gonna do with you. Can’t you find a decent guy that hasn’t dumped you to have sex with?”

“Cris is a decent guy. Seriously. I know someone’s lied to you and told you he’s an asshole but he’s really sweet and I feel really comfortable around him. I didn’t think I would but it feels like we never actually stopped being friends. He makes me laugh and he can cheer me up when I’m upset. I know you think everyone I’ve ever cried over is scum but he’s not. He genuinely missed me, I think and I missed him.”

Geri looks unimpressed with Leo’s explanation. “Does him being a decent guy mean that you two are dating?”

“What? No. We’re not.”

“So, he’s just using you for your body.”

“Geri.” Leo shakes his head. “Why do you always have to be like that?”

“Did you forget how he left you in ninth grade? I don’t trust him.”

“I understand why he did it though. If he had told me, I would have spent the entire summer being sad about it but instead we made good memories together,” Leo says. 

Maybe it turned out a bit more painful that way but Leo’s not upset about it anymore. He still remembers his first kiss with Cristiano and the way it had made his heart race when Cristiano would secretly hold his hand when no one was looking. He treasures those memories as happy and he’s not sure they would have been the same if he had known Cristiano would leave the country and him at the end of camp. 

“You’re so ready to forgive people. It’s one of your good qualities,” Geri says mussing up Leo’s hair with his hand. 

“Does this mean I have your blessing?” Leo says looking at Geri with exaggerated pleading in his eyes.

Geri rolls his eyes. “No way. I’ll believe he’s not an asshole when I see it for myself.”

Leo laughs. Geri’s words are harsh but the tone of his voice is lighter and Leo knows that means that he’s willing to go along with Leo if he thinks that Cristiano really is a good person. He just won’t come out and say it because he likes reserving the ability to tell his friends that they’ve fucked up if the things he says will go wrong do go wrong. That’s good enough for Leo right now. He’s confident that Geri will come around assuming Cristiano wanted to date him at some point.

 

Leo’s happy he got to talk to Geri and tell him about Cristiano. He texts Cesc after he has spoken to Geri. Cesc isn’t using the group chat much while he was on vacation. He’s too preoccupied with his girlfriend and making sure she has a good time. The last Cesc had said was that he’s thinking of proposing and Leo and Geri think that’s what the vacation is really for. It was sweet even if a bit weird to think of Cesc getting married. Cesc had replied to Leo’s text enthusiastically and promised to Skype soon when he had time so that he could hear all about it. He seemed to be amused with the idea of Geri being some kind of mother hen trying and failing to protect Leo from loser men so he loved the fact that Leo was “rebelling” as he called it. 

It would mean his week goes well except he doesn’t see Cristiano. He tries to tell himself it’s nothing to worry about but Cristiano had come to the office every week since Leo started and for him to not come the week after they had sex makes Leo nervous. What if Geri is right and Cristiano had only been after his body? Was he bored with Leo now after telling him things like how he had missed him in Spain? He has to calm himself down and remind himself that Cristiano is a busy person and that maybe he had too many meetings this week to come into the office. 

He goes home on Friday a bit annoyed with himself for being upset that Cristiano hasn’t visited him. It isn’t like they’re dating. Cristiano has no obligation to see him but he had wanted to think that they had gotten closer of the past weekend not further apart. 

Leo’s phone dings as he changes his clothes. He pulls a t-shirt over his head and checks the message. He feels immediate excitement when Cristiano’s name shows up on the screen. He shouldn’t be so excited, he tells himself, but he can’t help it. He really likes Cristiano a lot. 

_Sorry I couldn’t see you at GSI this week. I’ve been busy with some pre-planning for fashion week._

_no problem. i know you’re busy and i’ve been finishing up my projects for next week so i’ve been busy too._

Leo can’t help but grin to know that Cristiano had been thinking about him as well.

_Does that mean you didn’t miss me?_

_of course i missed you. the real question is did you miss me?_ Leo’s not normally so bold with his flirting but he feels like he can be now with Cristiano.

_So much._

_I’m still at the office but I’d rather be with you._

Leo blushes even though there’s no reason for him to be embarrassed. He thinks for a moment about how to respond. Would Cristiano think him too bold if he invited him over? He stares at the phone. Cristiano has already said he wants to see him, so it wouldn’t seem too strange.

Leo types slowly. _how about you come over when you’re done? maybe I can help you recharge after a long week?_ Then he presses send and hopes that Cristiano doesn’t think his invitation is too heavy-handed.

Immediately, he can see that Cristiano is typing. Leo tenses in anticipation hoping that Cristiano wants to see him as much as he wants to see Cristiano. The row of sad emojis he receives sends his mood plummeting easily. His mind begins thinking that he was too forward but he has to tell himself to stop being so excitable because Cristiano is still typing.

_I’d love to except I have to work tomorrow and I don’t think one or two hours will be enough for me to recharge._

_you could always stay over_ , Leo suggests.

Cristiano seems to type for a long time before the next message. _I’m not sure about you but I have no intention of sleeping if I spend the night with you._

The text makes Leo suck in a deep breath. Cristiano still wanted him. He’s not sure how to respond to the text. While he’s thinking Cristiano sends another.

_But I’m free tomorrow night and all of Sunday. If you’re not busy . . ._

_tomorrow is good_

Leo wonders if he’s ever typed that fast before.

_I’ll see you then Leo. Now I should get back to work so I’m ready for tomorrow._

_good luck_

Leo turns off his phone screen and grins. He feels ridiculously happy. He has been dreaming about Cristiano, his hands on Leo making him feel so much that he can’t think, and he wakes up needy and filled with desire every time. He can imagine Geri rolling his eyes as far back as they can go.

 

Leo wakes up to his phone vibrating. He reaches over to the bedside table and brings it close to his bleary eyed face. Neymar’s name shows up on the screen and Leo checks the time in the corner. It was only nine thirty. 

Leo presses the button to accept the call and puts the phone to his ear. “Hello?” His voice is still raspy from sleep.

“Leo, I’m downstairs. Can I come up?”

Neymar sounds distressed and that wakes Leo up immediately.

“Yeah. Sure. Are you ok? Did something happen?” Leo stumbles out of bed and goes to buzz Neymar up.

Neymar hangs up when Leo presses the button. It’s strange for Neymar to be out this early and even stranger for him to come to Leo like this. He hopes nothing bad has happened. Everything begins to run through his mind: a fight with his parents or maybe his roommate or even worse an assault of some kind. 

Leo already had the door open when Neymar gets up the stairs. Neymar’s eyes are red as if from crying.

“Ney, hey. Come on. Let’s go sit down, ok?” Leo says, tugging on Neymar’s elbow to pull him towards the living room.

Neymar follows and allows Leo to sit him on the couch. Leo takes a seat next to him, close so that he can rest his hand on Neymar’s knee. He brushes back Neymar’s hair with his hand. “What’s wrong, Ney? What happened?”

“Nothing.” Neymar turns to him and the look on his face is just so sad that Leo can’t believe that nothing has happened. “You remember that guy I like?”

Leo nods. 

“I think—I think he likes someone else.”

“Hey, that’s no reason to cry. You might have made a mistake. Besides, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. It’s not over until you confess,” Leo says, moving his hand to Neymar’s shoulder.

“He thinks I’m just a kid. I don’t have a chance.” Neymar closes his eyes.

Leo hates to see Neymar so upset. They are friends and Leo wants to help him as best he could. “Listen. I thought David would think I was just a kid but somehow he ended up liking me back. I mean, I don’t know how much older this guy is but there’s always a chance that your feelings’ll be returned.”

Neymar opens his eyes and looks at Leo, fingers digging into his own thighs. “Would you date someone my age?”

“Well, we’re literally the ages David and I were when we started dating so definitely.” Leo tries a smile but Neymar looks away.

They’re quiet for a long time. Neymar either doesn’t have anything to say or he’s thinking things over in his mind and Leo lets him. When he’s ready, he stands and turns toward Leo.

“Are you feeling better?” Leo says. He’s not so sure Neymar should be going anywhere just yet. He doesn’t look any better. If anything he looks even more fearful.

“Leo, why does it have to be him? Why can’t it be me?” Neymar’s face is sad. Leo thinks he finally understands why Geri hates his exes because Leo doesn’t have a high opinion of the guy that’s capable of making Neymar look the way he is. 

“Ney, it can be you. You just have to let him know you like him. I know it’s scary to confess to someone but you’ll never know if he likes you unless you ask.”

Neymar frowns and groans frustrated. “I am. That’s what I’m doing.”

“What?” Leo’s not sure he’s processing the conversation properly anymore.

“You. You’re the one I like,” Neymar says, voice deflating.

Leo’s eyes go wide. “But—but you said—”

“I lied. There was never any guy at school. It was only ever you.”

Leo has no idea what to say. He had waved Geri and Cristiano away when they suggested that Neymar was in love with him. They had even discussed it the first time Geri had brought it up but Neymar had laughed when he told him and said that he had a crush on a boy at school. It had been convincing or at the very least Leo had wanted it to be convincing so he let himself be convinced. He hadn’t wanted to have to break Neymar’s heart because Neymar is his good friend. But now here he is looking like an idiot. The only one who didn’t know that Neymar likes him.

“You like me. Me?” Leo doesn’t actually need clarification but it’s all he can think to say.

Neymar nods. 

“Since when?” 

“Since you started tutoring me.” 

Neymar is blushing now and Leo understands why. It’s been a long time. It’s been almost six years since Leo helped Neymar out with his school work and he had liked him the entire time up until now. Through everything. Through David and through the break-up with David. He wonders how he could handle that, watching the person you love being in love with someone else and getting their heart broken. Leo remembers Cristiano getting a girlfriend at fifteen for a while and how he had felt seeing his long time crush with someone else. There had been so much else at play at that time: hiding his interest in boys on the whole, not just the interest in his best friend and being devastated thinking that your best friend could never like you because he liked girls. But he thinks he’s able to isolate the feeling of watching your crush with someone else and that was still painful.

“Ney, you know I like you as a friend. But that’s all it is. I’m sorry.” It hurts Leo to turn him down but Leo knows that it’s nothing compared to the heartbreak that Neymar must be feeling. 

“What’s so good about Cristiano anyway? Why can you like him and not me? Geri told me what he did to you. How can you still like a guy like that?” Neymar says, eyes beginning to glisten with tears.

Leo’s not sure the best way to comfort him. How could you explain to someone who had been pining after you for so long that you thought they were an amazing person that anyone would be lucky to have but that you didn’t want him in that way. 

“He did hurt me once in the past but he’s also made me really happy both then and now and that hurt seems so insignificant to those good feelings especially with the perspective I have now. It’s nothing to do with age or success or any of the stuff you’re probably thinking. I know you probably know more than anybody that sometimes we just happen to fall for someone we don’t expect to fall for.”

Neymar wipes his eyes and sniffs loudly. “It’s not fair.”

Leo smiles sadly. “I know. But, I really do like him and I’m not ready to give up on that.”

“Does that mean I have a chance if he turns you down?” Neymar says.

Leo laughs. He can’t help it. Hope it such an amazing thing. Neymar isn’t giving up. “Yeah.”

Neymar laughs sadly. “I can’t wish you to be sad even if I would benefit. I don’t think I would be satisfied to be just a rebound for you. I want you to love me, not settle for me.”

“Yeah. You deserve better than that. Better than I can give you any time soon,” Leo says. 

“I should go now,” Neymar says, sniffing again and blinking back any tears.

“Are you sure?”

Neymar nods. “I’ve already said what I needed to say and you answered me so I should go.”

Leo stands and follows Neymar to the door. “We can still be friends, right?” Leo says. He knows it’s selfish but he appreciates Neymar’s friendship and he doesn’t want to lose it. 

“I think I’ll need time.” Neymar answers without turning to Leo.

Leo feels sad, a bit like he could cry himself. “That makes sense. I’ll be here if you ever need me though.”

Neymar flashes Leo a little smile and nods. Leo watches him leave, the door shutting behind him. He wonders when he will see Neymar again.

 

It’s distracting to think about Neymar but he does anyway. It makes him sad to think that he won’t see Neymar for a while. It’s understandable though so he feels a bit selfish for thinking it. His mind drifts into how it might have been to accept him. Leo wasn’t in love with him in the same way but he didn’t doubt that he could fall for him if he allowed them to have the proper romantic stimulation. But Cristiano. It seemed that it always came back to Cristiano these days. Leo likes him so much. It doesn’t seem to matter that they’ve only been reunited for a couple of months. He is properly crushing hard and he doesn’t want to give up even if it will make Neymar, who has been a friend to him and supportive of him, happy.

Cristiano arrives around eight. Leo lets him into the building. He’s had all day to prepare but the most he’s managed is to make his bed up and clean his room so that he won’t look entirely disgraceful. There’s a familiar feeling of anticipation in him but it seems a bit off considering earlier. He can’t help but feel that it is just a bit strange to turn down one of your best friend’s confessions in the morning and then have sex with the guy you like in the evening.

The knock on the door comes a bit sooner that Leo expects so he’s still in the living room looking to see if there’s anything he needs to put away. He heads to the door and opens it to Cristiano’s smiling face and flowers. Leo is surprised to see that Cristiano has brought flowers. He takes them as Cristiano enters the apartment. They’re gorgeous at first glance. He looks at it properly then: purplish many-petalled flowers and yellow ones as well. The colour combination is strange but lovely.

“Zinnias and jonquil,” Cristiano says before Leo can ask. 

Leo nods enthusiastically. “They are. Thank you. I really like them.” Leo leads Cristiano into the living room and then goes into the kitchen where he’s sure he has a vase. He takes out the clear vase he finds under the sink and sticks the flowers in with some water. It looks really nice. His mind can’t help but think that this is a very romantic gesture but he shakes his head. He knows that some cultures are very into giving flowers when you visit someone so it was possible that Cristiano had just taken a page out of another countries’ book.

He brings the flowers out and puts it in the middle of the coffee table.

“They look nice,” Cristiano says looking fondly at the vase from where he sits on the couch.

Leo sits next to him. Cristiano comes closer to him and angles himself on the couch so he can look at Leo and so that his knee is against Leo’s thigh.

“How was your day, Leo?”

Leo immediately thinks about Neymar and hesitates. “I—it was fine.”

Cristiano frowns slightly. “Did something happen?”

Leo wonders if it’s right to tell Cristiano about Neymar but he had realized that Neymar was in love with him even before Leo had so maybe it wasn’t wrong. 

“Um, well, Ney confessed to me this morning,” Leo says softly.

“Oh.” Cristiano’s hand finds its way to the top of Leo’s head, stroking gently.

It’s a comforting action that makes Leo feel warm inside. 

“I guess, I just feel bad about having to turn him down,” Leo says.

“He’s your friend so it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to see him sad.”

Leo hums in agreement and then they’re silent for a while, just Cristiano stroking Leo’s head making Leo feel all fuzzy. 

“I know he’s your friend and it’s upsetting to upset him, but I have to say I’m glad to hear you turned him down,” Cristiano says.

Leo looks at him surprised. “What? Why?”

Cristiano’s expression turns to one of confusion and his face reddens slightly, a light blush. His eyes look away from Leo’s face and he takes away his hand. “I mean, I thought I was being really obvious with the flirting and the sex and the flowers, but it’s because I like you, Leo.”

Leo’s eyes open wide and he can feel his heartrate going up. Surely he hasn't heard correctly. 

“I wasn't sure if you felt the same way but you’re always so receptive. Did I make a mistake thinking that maybe you like me back?” Cristiano looks at him again, uncertainty in his gaze.

Leo smiles. Cristiano is really adorable like that. The confident Cristiano is good too but Leo has a mind that Cristiano doesn't show this kind of vulnerability to just anyone. He feels privileged to be allowed this glimpse into Cristiano's feelings. 

“I do like you, Cris.”

“Is there a 'but’ at the end of that sentence?”

Leo laughs and shakes his head. “No. There isn't.”

Cristiano's face lights up with a sweet smile. He takes Leo’s hand and slots their fingers together, holding on tight. He lifts Leo's hand and places a soft kiss on the back. 

“I’ve still never met anyone that compares to you. When I moved back, I was so sure you’d never want to speak to me again for making you cry. But then I met you at that party and I realised I still felt the same way about you and then you were actually thinking of me. Maybe it was a bit arrogant but I thought maybe I still had a chance to be with you.” 

“Party? Oh god. That was you?” Leo is instantly mortified as he remembers the conversation he had with the Frankenstein's Monster on the terrace at the Halloween party last year. “Why didn't you tell me? This is so embarrassing.” Leo buries his face in his hands to hide is reddening face. 

Cristiano takes Leo’s hands and forces them down. Leo takes a peek at Cristiano who is smiling, amused. 

“I didn’t think you would talk to me,” Cristiano says. 

Leo can’t really respond to that properly because he had indeed been avoiding Cristiano that night and he would have probably tried to run away if he had known who he was talking to. He’s glad that they had spoken though. Cristiano himself had allowed Leo to think about him more rationally.

“You’re probably right,” Leo says with a chuckle. “I’m glad I got to talk to Frankenstein’s Monster before we met again officially though. You really helped me out when it came to how I should react towards you.”

“I’m glad.”

Leo is suddenly overcome with affection for Cristiano and his sweet smile. He quickly changes his position and climbs onto the couch to kiss Cristiano. He catches Cristiano by surprise and they both end up tipping over with Leo on top. He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to Cristiano’s.

“I think we should celebrate telling each other how we feel,” Leo says giving Cristiano another long kiss and hoping some of his affection can pass between them.

“What did you have in mind?”

Leo sits up grinning and pulls his shirt up over his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "At Last" by Etta James.


End file.
